Toying with Fate
by Jackie Onassis
Summary: Amy has dealt with horrid tragedies that nobody at the age of 16 should ever have to deal with. She has not spoken a word since a life changing event struck her at age 10. But when she crashes on the island, how will the aid of Charlie Pace change her?R
1. The Island Call

**A/N: So this is just a little something I've been working on in my spare time. Don't worry, I'll continue to update the Harry Potter story as usual, but I kinda wanted to get this idea out here too just to see what people thought of my writing.**

**Happy Reading!**

**-Jackie-**

Shannon was flipping through her magazine with an unsatisfied and dull exterior expression. I sat staring at the ground in front of me, my fingers tense against my knees.

"Would you relax? It's just a stupid plane ride." Shannon snapped without looking up from her magazine.

A man approached us, Iraquian by the looks of him. He set his bag down beside Shannon and tried to get her attention.

"Excuse me," He asked politely. "Can you watch my bag for a moment. It will only be a moment."

"Yeah, sure, whatever." She replied, still without looking up.

"Thank you."

The man walked away, his destination unknown to me. Boone came up just a moment later, and Shannon finally set her magazine aside, expectant to get what she wanted.

"I couldn't get our seats in first class." He confessed, grabbing his bag.

"What?!" Shannon demanded, jumping up from her seat.

I picked up my bag as well, slinging it over my shoulder before I slowly got to my feet. Shannon was already storming away, of course not paying attention to the bag the man had asked her to keep an eye on. I didn't bring it up and followed after Boone, trying to tone our their conversation. We walked through the terminal area and soon boarded our plane. I clenched my fingers tightly together and concentrated on breathing evenly.

"Hey, relax." Boone laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Why don't you try reading this?"

He handed me a _Harry Potter_ book from his carry-on bag, but I didn't even give it a simple glance.

"Come on." He was trying again like he did daily.

Trying to get me to speak up.

"I know you love _Harry Potter_."

"Give it up Boone!" Shannon snapped. "She hasn't said a damn word since-"

"Shh!"

Shannon glared at him, but said nothing else. She suddenly began to dig through one of her five carry-on bags, probably searching for her inhaler. Without looking up Boone pulled it from his pocket and handed it to her. The bell dinged, signaling that we were getting ready for takeoff.

"If all passengers will please fasten their seatbelts." The pilot announced. "We will be taking off momentairly."

I could feel my breath torn from my lips as I gripped the sides of the seat as tightly as I possibly could. My black beanie with the blue flames across it felt tight against my forehead, as if it was cutting off the circulation to my brain. The plane began to tremble as it quickly made its way across the runway. I gripped the seat and shut my eyes, but I could still feel it leave the ground and rocket high up into the air. The plane shook and trembled for several minutes until finally it relaxed and the pilot switched off the seatbelt sign. I opened my eyes and exhaled, slowly unclenching my fists.

"See?" Boone patted the top of my hat. "I told you it would be fine."

Maybe for the takeoff. Once we landed, then he could say that to me. I don't know how long it was that we were flying before I decided to get up and strech my legs. I stepped out into the walkway just in time for a man to push right past me in his hurry to do something. There was no point in going after him to shove him back, in fact there was no point to much of anything these days. Sighing I began to walk straight toward the bathrooms in the back, assuming that most of the bathrooms were probably occupied. As I was halfway there, the plane's turbulence suddenly kicked in and I fell right on top of one of the men sitting near the window.

"Excuse you!" He snapped, shoving me off his lap and onto the floor.

He was only proving my point. Men. Who needed them if they were just going to be pricks. But then the turbulence became more and more violent until the plane was beeping and going down on a crooked angle. I moved back toward my seat as fast as I possibly could and was only able to actually get in my seat when Boone grasped my hand. I strapped on the seatbelt and held on as tightly as I possibly could to his hand. I could hear the backend of the the plane separate from the rest of the plane, but I didn't dare turn around to see it hurdle toward the ocean below us. As the rest of the plane began to spiral down towards the ground, I squeezed my eyes shut tight and felt my heartbeat flood up into my throat. I don't want to die. Please god I don't want to die. Next I could hear the cockpit spiral down towards the ground until I finally blacked out.

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First, realization hit that I was alive as the sound of screaming flooded my ears. My eyes burned from the intense heat that was beating down upon them, that I finally built up the courage to open them. The moment I did a wave of water rushed on top of my head, clogging my nose and mouth. I immidietaly leapt from my spot and screamed in fright before backing away from the water. Once I was far enough away I bent over and coughed violently, trying to dislodge the water that had just tried to kill me. When I glanced up, a horror scene had befallen my eyesight. The fuselage was lying in ruins directly in front of me, and people all around were running and screaming to try and find loved ones. As far as screaming was concerned, Shannon had that covered. I immidietaly found her as she stood in one spot, unharmed, but still screaming bloody murder.

"AMY?!" Boone's voice caught my attention. "AMY?!"

I staggered to my feet, ignoring the large bloody gash that traveled down my leg. Boone almost collided into me, pulling me into a tight hug.

"Hey, do you still have that pen on you?"

Way to go Boone. Way to miss the main point. I stared at him blankly whenever I need to compenstate for a speaking response. He groaned and then ran off to continue to help out other people. I pulled hard and tugged off the sleeves of my shirt, wrapping them around the blood wound on my leg. But it suddenly became pointless to stand up because the fuselage exploded in a burst of firey flame. I ducked just in time to avoid falling, flaming wreckage but saw it hurdling toward another man. Should I even bother? Without thinking about it any further I ran at the man and knocked him out of the way.

"What happened?" He asked in a dazed manner.

I recognized him as the man who had knocked me over on the plane. Sighing, I crawled off the man with the striped sweater and moved back to where Shannon was. She somehow managed to calm herself down and was sitting by the water, staring out at it with a grimace. Things slowly began to calm down daylight waned into darkness, Boone finally returning exhausted. He noted me standing, glanced at the water, then turned back to me. He pulled on the blanket and pulled our makeshift bed away from the water's grasp. I finally sat down, not wanting to do much of anything. Except walk. I really needed a walk. Despite that I had just sat down, I stood back up and began to walk away. Boone grasped my wrist and held me in place.

"You really shouldn't be wandering around."

I tugged my wrist free of his grip and started off anyway, calmly breathing in and out. There was something about this island, but for some reason, I didn't feel afraid. This was probably the one place I should feel insecure and frightened, but rather I was calm and relaxed. A rather chunky man came up to me, loads of food in his hands.

"Hey! You want some chicken?"

I met his eyes and forced a small smile.

"Is that a yes?"

When I didn't answer he handed me the container anyways along with a fork.

"I'm Hurley by the way." He stuck out his hand.

I looked at it, not wanting to be rude, and shook it.

"You're name is...?"

I forced another smile before stepping around him, searching for nothing in particular. I stepped around the bits of chaos, the chicken warming up my once cold hands. My bag. I needed my bag. As I made my way through the crowds of people, I stopped in front of a large fire that's purpose was unknown to me. The Iraquian man who had left his bag near Shannon in the terminal sat to the left of the fire, the striped shirt man to the right. The striped sweater man was poking at some chicken that he had recieved, but the Iraquian man had none. I extended the chicken in front of him so that he looked up at me.

"No, I don't need that. You eat it."

He still would not take it even after a few moments of me standing there, so I set it down beside him. I felt I owed him for Shannon ditching his bag when he requested she watch it. She was a bitch like that. Bottom line. The least I could do was offer him some food. I headed toward the fuselage, climbing inside past all the dead bodies. They had no affect on me, I had seen too many corpses in the sixteen years of my life.

"Hey." A man's voice startled me and I jumped as I turned. "You probably shouldn't be in here."

I stared at the striped sweater man with a blank expression.

"Don't you ever say anything?" Silence. "Well, I'm Charlie. Charlie Pace."

He was from the band Driveshaft, I've heard of him before. He was trying to get some recoginition. Driveshaft was my favourite band of all time, despite the fact that they were pretty much a one hit wonder band.

"Didn't you hear that thing in the jungle just a moment ago?" He was still trying to get me to speak up.

"Hey!" That was Boone's voice.

He ran up inside the fuselage and nudged Charlie to the side.

"Leave her alone!"

"I was just making sure she didn't get hurt! Bloody hell!" Charlie snapped.

I sighed and allowed myself to get moved back toward our makeshift bed area, casting one final glance at Mr. Charlie Pace.

**A/N: That was a lot longer then I intended. Oh well. R&R please!**

**-Jackie-**


	2. The Final Strike

**A/N: WOW, I got absolutely NO reviews for my story, that makes me very sad. But you know what? To spite everyone who didn't review, I'm going to keep updating. SO HA! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?!?!**

**Ok, my tirade is over. I promise. Please review, I want at the very least two reviews, come on, just TWO. I've been working on these stories for a very long time and I would appreciate SOME feedback. Please and thanks, peace and pie;**

**-Jackie-**

I sat up in the middle of the night, my forehead underneath my cap drenched in a cold sweat. Boone and Shannon were sleeping soundly, Boone's loud snoars should have been enough to awaken the entire camp. I checked the makeshift bandages on my leg and sighed with relief as I noted the flow of blood had ceased. I stood up slowly, my legs beneath my torn jeans quivering in the rush of cold wind that blew across the campground. I cautiously walked through the confusing paths of people sleeping on the ground, a desperate craving for fruit emerging from the back of my throat and rolling across my tounge. After making it past all the people, I spotted a tree with mangoes growing on it just at the edge of the jungle. I found a foothole and pulled myself up into the high brances until I found a thick enough one to sit upon. I rested back against the branch, pulling down a weaker one and removing the mangoe from it. I rubbed it off on my already dirty shirt (which in retrospect made no sense) and bit into the sweet, juicy fruit.

As the delicious flavour traveled down my throat, I began to think about how long it had been since I used my voice. It must have at least been six years. Six incredibly long years without exchanging words, or coming up with proper vocals to accomodate the songs I used to write with my guitar. My guitar! Was it still somewhere on the plane? It had better be. It was a big part of me, that dirty old wooden guitar. The long years I had spent sitting in my room, coming up with amazing songs that would never be heard. Sure I had lyrcis written, but who would be there to sing them?

My beanie slid over my eyes and I flexed the fingers on my free hand, a desperate longing for the fingerless gloves that I had been forced to shove in my bag (at Boone's request, or rather demand). And there was also my journal, which I really needed at this moment. As I allowed myself to be dragged into sleep, my mind flickered over to the last few days before I left for Australia with Boone.

_**Flashback**_

"Annabella Jane Carlyle! Get downstairs this instant!" Mother's voice echoed throughout her mansion of a house.

I glanced up at Boone from my position on the bed, setting the guitar down beside me. He had been listening to one of my latest songs, commenting on where I should probably adjust a note or so.

"ANNABELLA!"

Sighing quietly, I slid off the bed and started down the hallway, seeing Mother perched in her angry position at the bottom of the stairs.

"Well?!" She demanded.

I sat down on the banister and slid down it, just to piss her off a little bit more. I stepped off once I reached the bottom, stopping directly in front of her. Her cheeks were flushed with a scarlet red tinge, but she no longer had any affect on me.

"Annabella, what is the meaning behind _this_?" She spat, thrusting a paper in front of my face.

I only had a moment to try and focus in on it before she pulled it back.

"You've been fired again?! Do you expect me to take care of you for the rest of your life? I can guarntee you Annabella that I will never pay for anything you need ever again. I don't want you mooching off your perfect, succesful brother or even your step-sister! In fact, I don't think you deserve to even stay in this household anymore! Get out!"

I turned and walked up the staircase, brushing past Boone as he met me in my doorway. I ignored his questions and demands for me to stay, and instead slung my guitar over my shoulder and packed a few things into a bag. I sure as hell wasn't going to stay here to deal with her bullshit. I hated her. I hated her as much as any human could hate another. I didn't bother to go back down the stairs and instead opened my bedroom window and climbed out onto the fire escape. Boone grabbed my arm before I traveled down the ladder.

"Don't go. It's late, it's dark, and it's not safe. I'll talk to her, please, don't go."

I pulled my arm free from his grasp and decended the ladder, a feeling of pride surging through me. I had finally gathered up the courage to leave this awful place. This place that only held horrible memories and thoughts. Once my feet hit the floor I began to run down the empty streets as fast as my feet would carry me, breathing in and out with the rhytm of my footsteps.

After several long minutes of running I stopped to catch my breath, pausing in front of an old park that nobody used anymore. I sat down on the curb, trying to relax my racing heart. As I sat thinking of my destination, bright lights suddenly illuminated the streets and flooded my eyes. I let out a quiet hiss of pain as I shut my eyes, water running out of them. I waited to hear the car pass before I looked up again, but the tires didn't fade away. I glanced up again and stared up at a man's face, his eyes smiling down at me in such a way that my skin crawled. I jumped up from the curb and took a step back, my feet too afraid to initiate the action my brain was screaming out.

"You seem lost miss," The man said, his face hidden by the darkness of the car. "Do you need a ride?"

I managed a calm shake of my head and my feet allowed me to take another step back. The man stepped out of the car and approached me, his face still hidden. My brain screamed for me to run, get away as fast and as quickly as I could. But the man was on me in half a second, throwing me in the back of his car before I could even manage a scream. I started to kick at the locked door as the man got back into the front of the car and sped off down the street.

"Stop that!" He hissed at me after a few moments, pulling over to a stop.

He leapt into the back seat and abused me, abused me in ways I can't even describe. When he was finished, he decided to dump me out into some abandon place and slammed the car door shut. I was humiliated and distraught in some random place, all alone after I had just been violated in every way. It wasn't until an hour later of silent sobbing did I actually make my way back to the place I could no longer consider a home.

_**End Flashback**_

I awoke with a start in the tree, nearly flinging myself off of it in fright from the light that filled my eyes. I pulled myself out of the horrible memory and started down the tree, feeling hands on the sides of my waist as I came down.

"Relax, it's just me." Boone said as he felt my body tense.

I pushed his hands away and made my way over toward where we had set a camp up, Charlie stopping me halfway.

"Look I told you, stay away from-" Boone began.

"Relax. I just came to ask her if this was her bag." He handed me a large black bag with the Driveshaft wording sewn across the side.

I took the bag from his hands and forced a small smile to compensate for my thanks.

"So you're name's Annabella?" He inquired.

"It's Amy, actually." Boone shot, pulling me back.

"Charlie," A woman came up beside him. "Ready to go?"

"Sure Kate. Hang on just a second. You want to come with us Amy?"

I looked over into the jungle and I felt like I really did want to go in. That jungle, despite all the danger and trouble that could be lurking through it, I wanted to be in there.

"Of course she doesn't want to-"

Boone's sentence was cut short again when a managed a tiny nod, crouching down and grabbing my fingerless gloves from my bag. I slipped them on and tightened my shoe laces before standing up to face Charlie again.

"Are you sure?" Boone asked.

Another small nod.

"You had better take care of her." He threatened Charlie before stalking away with my bag.

"Your brother isn't overprotective at all is he?" Charlie joked, his eyes tracing the gloves on my hand.

I had no response to that.

**A/N: Alright I'm done for now. PLEASE SEND SOME REVIEWS!!! PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE!!!**

**-Jackie-**


	3. Time For Me to Go

**A/N: YAY!!!! REVIEWS! Alright, I've recieved threats to update, so while I cower fearfully in a corner, enjoy this update!**

I started off behind Charlie into the jungle, my gloves feeling good against my fingers despite the sweat that was building up behind them. My hands felt naked without them there, since I had become so accoustomed to their presence. Charlie had seemed to notice the Driveshaft ring on my middle finger, and it brought a smile to his lips. Yes, I knew him. Yes, I was obsessed with his band for quite some time. But like the gloves, I had just gotten so used to the ring, I never took it off.

"So, you're obsessed with my band huh?" He asked as Kate followed close behind that doctor guy, Jack.

I looked up at him for a brief moment before continuing to watch the even movements of my steps.

"Why don't you say anything?" He demanded, stopping in front of me.

Jack stopped moving in general and turned around, Kate turning as well with him.

"You know," He said to me, his voice heavy with weariness. "Charlie does have a point. As long as we're here on this island, we have to be able to communicate and work with each other. Otherwise, we're going to struggle."

I looked up at them from the top of my eye sockets, no explanation for my silence present on my lips. They didn't understand, nor would they ever. And how dare they request...no, demand, that I give an explanation for my muteness. They didn't know me! They didn't understand the shit that I went through!

They didn't know me...

I brushed past all three of them and continued to walk, ignoring all conversation and murmuring that was going on behind me. But the further I walked through the woods and had the sun beating down on my black cap, black jeans, and the black vest I felt a wave of exhaustion pulse through my limbs. But as if on cue, as we entered the denser part of the jungle, it began to rain down heavily, soaking all of my clothes in a matter of minutes. I smiled up at the sky as the rain rolled down my cheeks.

"Hey guys, is this normal? Isn't this like end of the world type weather?" Charlie asked as we stepped through more high grass and trees.

Nobody responded, for we had finally found the cockpit. It was perched up into the trees on an eighty degree angle. I looked up at the task ahead and allowed Jack to enter first, then Kate, before finally going in myself. The corpses hanging off of the chairs had no effect on me whatsoever, although they probaby should have. Corpses...none of them would be as bad as _his_.

No. I'm not going to think about him. I don't want to think about him. Not now, not ever. Thinking of him only made the pain resubmerge, and I wasn't willing to go back there without a vicious fight.

"Hey!" Charlie snapped from behind me. "You might want to keep moving!"

I hadn't realized I had stopped moving, my knuckles white as they gripped onto the seat to prevent from slipping. I continued moving with sneakers occasionally slipping on the flooring. Jack was already at the cockpit door, trying to smash it open with a fire extinguisher. The door suddenly flew open and a dead body flew right out, landing right on top of me. I instinctively let go of the seat and fell back, knocking myself and Charlie out of the plane.

"Watch it next time! Bloody hell!" He pulled the body off me before proceeding back up into the plane.

I wasn't going back up there now. What was the point? They had enough people in there to find the stupid transciever thing. I sat down in the mud, streching out my legs and leaning my head back up against the plane. I suppose it was true. Silence was bliss. All I needed was the sound of the rain hitting the ground and the sides of my face, and I could be at peace. What was it about this place? What was this strange hold it had over me to make me feel completely safe and secure. It surely wasn't the people around me, but instead it was the island. I wouldn't know. But then again, in this pure silence, my train of thought began to run off the tracks. While I was in this place, was I actually safe from my malevolent mother's tirade? I always had believed she was the reason he died...I think she had tried to kill me.

"Amy?!" Jack's voice cut off my thoughts.

But a split second after I heard him, a loud roaring echoed through the jungle. I ran up into the plane and threw myself into one of the seats, head turned toward the bottom of the plane. There was a brief moment of silence before Jack yelled again;

"RUN!"

I didn't have time to react before Jack, Kate, and Charlie were all sliding out of the cockpit. I managed to surpass Charlie as I ran, the roaring becoming increasingly louder with each passing second. This island may make me feel secure, but whatever the hell that creature was was scaring the shit out of me. My racing heart jumped up into my throat as my feet slammed into the thick mud, Kate's back becoming fadingly smaller as she ran after Jack.

"WAIT! OY! HELP!" Charlie called from behind me, making me stop dead in my tracks.

I spun around to see Charlie on the ground, his foot caught in some branches from one of the trees. The roaring was getting louder and louder, but I couldn't see anything. Was it really worth going after him? The washed up ex-rockstar of my favourite band? Even if it wasn't I didn't give myself time to think about it before I was running back to help him. I grabbed him under the arms and pulled, trying to heave his foot free.

"Come on! Hurry up!"

With another tug his foot popped free and he grabbed my arm so I could pull him up to his feet. Once he was up on his feet and we got ready to run, I was suddenly lifted off the ground by my foot, the force causing this invisible to me. I twisted widly around to try and get myself free, but whatever it was had a good grip on my foot. Before I got any higher, Charlie grabbed my wrists and held on as tightly as he could.

"Work your foot free!"

But as his words hit my ear, I suddenly realized I didn't want to. Here was an option, I could be dead, right now. I could end it, all my pain...my lifelong misery. I allowed my hands to drop my Charlie's wrists, but he refused to let go. His nails were digging into my wrist's as the creature pulled harder, nearly wrenching my foot off.

"AMY! What the hell are you doing?!"

As the words came out of his mouth my foot suddenly popped free of my foot and I collapsed on top of Charlie, the roaring sound fading away. I rolled off of him, my cheeks burning as the blood rushed up into them. And to top it off the rain had stopped, just as quickly as it had come. I laid flat on my back in the mud, gasping and panting as I tried to slow my racing heart.

"What the _hell_ was that? Were you trying to get yourself killed? Why the hell did you let go?!"

Were those rhetorical questions, or did he actually expect me to answer him? As I've said before, they didn't know me, they didn't understand me. I just had an opportunity to finally die, and it failed miserably. Why was I tormented so? This must have been my punishment. To just keep living with the constant torterous memories that plagued my subconcious. Finally I stood up out of the mud, grabbing Charlie's wrist and pulling him up onto his feet. I started off in the direction I had seen Kate headed, ignoring Charlie's questioning stare.

_Flashback_

Shannon needed a shopping partner to hold all of her bags, and since Boone was out of town, I had to be the one to do it. She dragged me through dozens and dozens of stores, asking for feedback on ever article of clothing she tried on at every single store. Then she would get frustrated when I wouldn't respond, and then the process would start all over again. By the end of the evening, I was carrying eleven or twelve bags. Shannon called for a taxi while I threw all of her junk in the trunk, the rain pouring down on my head. But even over the loud claps of thunder, I could still hear the small crying from behind me. I turned around and saw a small boy, probably no older then eight, standing underneath one of the entrances of the shops. He was African American, yelling for his mother over the claps of thunder.

"Get in the taxi! He'll be fine!" Shannon yelled as she rolled down the window.

Even so I stepped towards the boy, reaching for the cell phone in my pocket. He stopped yelling for a moment and stared at the phone. He told me a few numbers and I punched them in before handing him the phone. He waited patiently for a few seconds before saying into the reciever;

"Dad? It's Walt. I dunno, I can't find mom. I don't know where she went. I'm standing outside of McDonalds. Ok, bye."

He handed me the phone back and smiled.

"He's going to call my Mom. I'm Walt."

I smiled back to offer him comfort and led him inside, making Shannon wait angrily in the taxi with the meter running. I sat the boy, Walt, down at a table and bought him some dinner while we awaited his mother to arrive. He told me about his mom and dad and how they traveled a lot while he scarfed down a burger and fries. After about a half hour or so a woman walked in that he proclaimed as his mother.

"Thank you so much." His mother said to me as we walked out of the restaurant. "How can I repay you?"

"How about paying for our taxi meter that has been running for thirty-five minutes?" Shannon shouted from the car.

_End Flashback_

Charlie would not stop talking as we made our way through the jungle, trying to figure out where Jack and Kate had gone off to.

"So why won't you talk? What happened to you? Are you really that interested in my band? Where did you get a replica of the band ring? Have you ever gone to one of our concerts? Why is your brother so overprotective of you?"

He was like an annoying record that was skipping, repeating the same thing over and over and over again until finally you wanted to tear the record out of it's player and break it in two. When we were making our way through a puddle, a drop of blood stopped me in my tracks. I bent down as the water rippled, reflecting the light off of a small pendent in the ground.

"It's the pilot's." Jack's voice startled me.

I glanced up at him, handing over the pendent. Kate was standing right behind him, staring up at the pilot's mutilated body that was hanging from the branches above.

"Guys, how does something like that happen?" Charlie asked.

And to think, that could have been me.

**A/N: It's 11 o'clock at night, I'm going to bed. Read and Review! 2 more reviews before I continue.**

**-Jackie-**


	4. On My Own

**A/N: I've got absolutely nothing to do, some I'm gonna write this chapter out and make adjustments later. But since you're reading this, obviously I've already made the changes and have posted it, so enjoy.**

Jack led the way back the the campground as the sun began to come out through the thick tree branches. Due to my lack of a shoe, I had to use the tree bark in order to make sure I didn't step on anything sharp.

"So where the hell were you guys? Did you not hear me shouting?" Charlie asked as he followed close behind Kate.

"Charlie, there was the thunder and that thing was roaring so loudly. How could we possibly hear you?" Kate reasoned, lifting up a branch so we could go under.

"Well, thanks Amy."

I offered a small smile to soothe him, hoping that no more questions would come of it. I was in luck, and silence was ensued for the rest of the trip back. When we arrived however, the entire group of survivors were gathered around two men who were tackling each other to the ground. One of them I didn't recognize, but the other I knew as the Iraquian man, Sayid I had heard someone call him. They were screaming at each other, their words inaudiable to me as I stared out at the ocean, the horrifying images of my past jumping in front of my eyes. His screams echoing in my ears, the gunshot blast, the bloody water...

"Hey." Boone shook my shoulder gently. "You alright?"

The fight had ceased, Sayid and the other man had stormed off in different directions.

"Stay away from that redneck Sawyer." Boone ordered me, walking alongside me as we made our way back to the our spot. "He's nothing but trouble."

When we got to our spot, I saw my bag along with my guitar both sitting up against a beach towel. I couldn't help the pure smile that broke across my face. My guitar, my wonderful guitar, my pride, it was back.

"Wow, I think that's the first real smile I've seen on your face in years. I checked it by the way, it's perfectly in tact."

As if to prove his point, he unzipped the side of the guitar case and pulled out the diamond, my treasure. I caressed the worn strings on the faded oak finish. The years I've spent strumming the strings and tuning them, the hours I've spent writing my own lyrics to the tune of the song. I put the strap around my shoulder and weighted the guitar. It felt like a part of me had returned from the dead, my soul was back. I felt calm and collected, all up until Shannon started screaming at Boone...once again. I ignored the both of them and started to walk down the beach, the guitar pick clenched between my index finger and thumb.

"That your guitar?" Charlie asked, coming up from behind me.

I turned around to face him. What a stupid question. Would I be using it if it wasn't my guitar? Well...maybe. So instead I nodded slightly, giving him the satisfaction of an answer.

"It's beautiful. So, are you going on the hike?"

I shook my head, strumming a few of the strings to make sure it sounded correct. As I slowly turned back to face forward, Boone came back in front of me, fuming.

"Due to _somebody's _stubbornness, we'll be going on a hike. We should be back sometime tomorrow. Are you gonna be ok on your own?"

I stared at him blankly until he stormed off after Shannon.

"Well, take care then. I'll see you when we get back."

After he walked I continued to travel across the beach, playing the guitar quietly. I stopped in front of a woman, she was settled in a chair from the plane scribbling in her diary. Her belly buldged out as far as it would go due to the baby I assumed that was growing inside it. I sat down on the seat beside her and she looked up from her diary after closing it between her index finger.

"Hi!" She stuck out her free hand. "I'm Claire."

I smiled and shook it, but said nothing in return.

"Yeah, this baby is due really soon. I know I shouldn't have been flying eight months pregnant, but it was kind of an emergency, you know?" She started, rubbing her belly. "I haven't seen you talk with anybody? Are you deaf?"

I held back a smile and shook my head slightly, not wanting to be rude to her.

"So that's your brother and sister I assume?" She continued in her thick Australian accent. "You don't look like you were from Australia anyways. I was born there, lived there my entire life. That's a really nice guitar by the way, forgot to mention that. Glad you found it still in tact I bet. Well it was nice talking to you...Amy."

I looked around to see where she had gotten my name from and she pointed to the side of the guitar...where _he_ had carved my name into the slick wood. With my mind racing, I continued to make my way across the beach, my now bare feet sinking into the sand. I settled up against the fuselage, back pressed to the metal or whatever the hell it is they use to make the plane. I sat there for hours, just playing the guitar as softly as I could just so I could get used to the feel of it. I couldn't tell you how long it had been since it was safely cradled in my hands, but it was too long.

I even met up with Walt, the boy I had met in the city when he was separated from his mom. Apparently she had died, and he was now here with his dad, Michael. The day waned on until night had fallen across the beach, Boone and Shannon had not yet returned. I wasn't worried though, Boone could take care of himself. Shannon would stick by Boone, so there really wasn't any reason to think twice about it. I found my way back to the makeshift bed area Boone had set up, my back turned to the ocean. I didn't want to see it. If I couldn't see it, then maybe it wasn't even there. I finally detached myself from the guitar, setting it down as gently as possible inside it's case and zipping it up tight.

"It's going to be cold tonight." A older man warned me, tossing a sweater on top of me.

I stared bitterly back at him, unzipping my bag and showing him the sweater that was crammed tightly in the bottom.

"Ah. My mistake. But you should still probably put it on. Sleeping near the water and with the wind coming, it will get pretty cold."

I knew the old buggar wasn't going to leave me alone until I did, so I yanked the sweater out of the bag and pulled it over my head. If I got heatstroke in the morning from this, I would make sure that I kicked his ass when I got in recovery. But instead of leaving the man crouched down, extending his hand. What was it with everyone and insisting on shaking my hand?

"I'm John. John Locke."

John Locke? Wasn't that the name of some philospher at some point in history? I think it was. Odd, kind of a ridiculous name for a man. Sighing as his hand did not retract itself at my icy stare, I shook it for a second before withdrawing it back.

"I've noticed that you haven't said anything in the time we've been here."

We haven't been here long enough for him to pass judgement on me. So why wouldn't this old geezer leave me alone? Now was one of the few times when I wished Boone was around to throw this old man down the beach. But of course, Boone isn't here the one time I actually want him around. He stepped back a few inches and placed a bunch of sticks in a pile at my feet, lighting it up with a lighter from his pocket. The sticks began to smoke for a few moments before a fire was in front of my eyes, not very big, but enough to keep me warm throughout the night. I looked up at him in silent thanks, the bitterness still edging despite his kind actions. I don't know why, but there was something about him that I didn't like.

"You're welcome." He responded with a light smile, before tossing me a mangoe that he had hidden behind his back.

Then he finally left me alone, turning the fruit in my hands. Where did he get off being nice to me? It was almost like he knew I despised him...or rather despised all the men surrounding me (with the exception of Boone). And then there was Charlie...what was it about meeting the rockstar of my dreams that made me less afraid? Last I had heard, he was a drug addict. He should be someone that I would want to shy away from, yet I found it easy to actually look him directly in the eyes when he asked me something. Despite the fact that he asked too many questions and he sort of annoyed the shit out of me, there was just the aroma about him that made me comfortable. God damn rockstar.

My toes recoiled slightly, indicating to me that I was burning them near the fire. I drew them back slowly and cooled them down with my cold hands. I pressed my head against the bag behind me. Tomorrow, Boone and Shannon would be back sometime tomorrow, then we could continue to think about how to get off this damn island.

And Charlie.

Charlie would be back too.

**A/N: Hmm...I got less reviews for that last chapter. That makes me sad. Don't make me sad again please. I updated, you review. That's the deal. **

**Peace,**

**-Jackie-**


	5. Ginny

**A/N: Yeah, so, I'm sick, and I'm writing you this story from the comfort of my bed. But I must keep updating, because I have people reading and reviewing. So here you go!**

I awoke the following morning when the sun began to beat down on the sweater that I still had on. I sat up and tore off the sweater, a breeze blowing through just in time to cool me off. Boone was back, ignoring Shannon even as she ran after him.

"You didn't know what you were doing! And you do go on marches!"

"Shut up Shannon!" Boone yelled, spinning around on his heel to face her.

Sighing, I picked up my guitar and swung it over my shoulders, the pick now on a chain around my neck. The fuselage, I wonder if there was any helpful medicine in there that could cure the pain in my leg from the crash. At any rate it was worth a shot. I headed for the fuselage, switching the guitar around so it was against my back. The corpses hanging off of the chairs would have made any normal person want to vomit, but as with the first time, I was already used to it. In my bare feet is was a lot easier to climb up on the angle, pulling myself up to one of the busted levels and opening up one of the cabinets. As I dug through, there was a quiet rustling noise from behind me. I turned, but saw nothing. It was probably nothing. I pulled loose one of the cabinets and found a small bag. Opening it up, I was fortunate to find a bottle of painkillers. I put them inside my pocket and straightened up, getting ready to leave.

"Boo!" A voice made me almost fall off the ledge I was standing on.

I turned to face that hillbilly or whatever, Sawyer. I glared at him, climbing back down to the lower level.

"You're that one girl that doesn't talk right?" Silence. "Well then you just answered my question. Too bad, that means you won't say anything back when I tell you that the VH-1 Has-Been you hang around with is just an annoying little bastard."

I felt my fingers clench into tight fists. Only I was allowed to say Charlie was annoying. Rather think into to myself, but you got the idea. My fingers clenched around something behind me, something hard. I'm sure I could dent his skull with it, maybe if I got luckier he would fall off as well. But before I could do any of that, a high-pitched squeak caught my ear. I dropped the item in my hand and turned around, peering around. I glanced up at Sawyer to see if he had heard it, and by the look of his face, he had.

"What the hell was that?"

I held up a hand to shut him up, awaiting the sound again. When it came again, it was a little further up the fuselage. I stepped quietly, listening to the sound of the high pitched noise to direct me to it. Finally I stopped in front of a row of seats and peered under. There was a little white ball of fur clinging to one of the seat legs, just barely hanging on. I reached under and cupped my hands around the tiny kitten. It couldn't have been older then four weeks, meowing in it's high pitched voice. I crawled back out from under the seat and clutched the tiny thing to my chest, stroking its head with one finger. It's bright blue eyes stared up at me as it mewed once again, no doubt hungry.

"How the hell did that get there?" Sawyer asked, jumping down from the ledge he was on.

I shrugged and showed it to him, not letting him take it from my hands.

"That's going to be an irritating little bitch isn't it?"

I glared at him and walked out, shielding the poor little thing's eyes from the bright sunlight. I made my way past the crowd to where Shannon and Boone were, still yelling at each other like usual. I stopped in the center of them and held out the little kitten.

"Oh my! That was on the plane?" Boone asked, stroking the kitten with one finger.

Shannon looked at it with displeasure. She wasn't too big on animals. It wasn't that she hated them, but she preferred to stay away from them. The kitten meowed loudly again, expressing it's hunger and anger of being in the bright sunlight. I took a banana from the pile that Boone had collected and a bit of bark with a stick. I laid a bit of the banana on the bark and mashed it up as best as I could with the stick until it was just apile of mash. With my index finger I put some of the banana onto it and the kitten licked it off contently. It was so adorable. I never was allowed to have pets in my mother's house, so I usually fed the alley cats around our neighborhood. Was it a girl or a boy? While the kitten ate I lifted up his tail and checked. Yep, girl. Name...this kitten needed a name.

"Oh no, you can't be expecting to keep that."

I glared up at Boone, disbelief crossing my expression along with anger.

"We can't take care of that right now."

I didn't care what he had to say. I continued to feed the kitten, turning over names in my head. Kitten, what was a good name for a white kitten with blue eyes? Hmm...Guinevere, rather Ginny. Sure I was going to rip off _Harry Potter_, but it seemed fit. Why, I have no idea. But Ginny was going to be her name. Finally Ginny had seemed to eat her fill, and she curled up on the thigh part of my pants. She was going to get overheated if I didn't find something to help cool her down. Shannon had packed a little battery powered fan in her bag, so I began to tear through the bag with Shannon screaming for me to stop. I found the fan deep within her bag and pulled it out, switching it on.

"I need that!" She screamed, lunging for it.

But Boone held her bag with one hand, shaking his head.

"Fine!" And she stormed off down the beach.

I put the fan a few inches away from the kitten, letting the cool air rush across her.

"What you got there?" Charlie asked, crouching down in front of me. "A kitten? First the polar bear and now a kitten."

I looked up at him, confused. Polar bear? Charlie instantly realized his slip and clamped his mouth shut. I shrugged it off for the moment and allowed Charlie to pet Ginny, who had now fallen asleep.

"We should probably get a little bed/ tent thing set up for him."

I shook my head.

"No to the tent or not to the 'him'?"

I pointed to gesture to the second bit, and Charlie nodded in understanding.

"Did you come up with a name for her?"

I picked up the stick I had been using and traced the name in the sand.

"Ginny? That's cute."

I nodded absentmindedly as Charlie began to make a small bed out of a towel from my bag. _He_ had tried to get me a kitten once. It didn't work out so well. Just like a lot of things that had happened in my life.

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The following morning, or at least close to morning, the camp was awaken by the sound of crashing from inside the fuselage. I glanced up immidietaly, looking at the makeshift cage Charlie had helped me make the previous day for the kitten. It basically consisted of a bit of tarp with little bars around it so it couldn't wander away. After making sure Ginny was safe, I stood up and walked towards the fuselage along with the rest of the camp.

"You hear that?" Claire asked, staring inside the fuselage.

"Sawyer." Jack guessed, rolling his eyes.

"Right behind you." Sawyer snapped. "Jackass."

The moment the last word left Sawyer's lips a pig-like creature charged out of the fuselage, colliding into Charlie and knocking him to the ground. The pig thing fled into the jungle, squealing as it went. I bent down and helped Charlie to his feet, noting the cut on his leg.

"Thanks."

Jack took over the medical side of it while the sun slowly began to rise over the ocean. I didn't watch it though, I couldn't. I let Ginny out of her cage and she meowed at me, hungry once again. I took a banana once again and mashed it all up. Claire was wandering the beach slowly, her diary clenched between her fingers. She stopped in front of me, asking permission to sit. I smiled and nodded, scooching back a bit so she had room to sit.

"That's such a cute kitten. How weird is it that she was on the plane?"

I shrugged and continued to feed her, my feet digging into the warm sand. When I looked up, Locke, Michael, and Kate had all disappeared, probably after that boar that had run off. Walt was by the Korean woman, Sun I believed she had been called, with her husband Jin. Claire was turned toward the ocean, enjoying the view. Of course, why shouldn't she? She didn't have any problems with it, she didn't have to worry about it.

When checked up again, Shannon was talking to Charlie, one of her fake smiles plastered across her face. That was never a good sign with Shannon. She was probably going to con him into doing something that he normally wouldn't do. But, that was how Shannon worked. Kind of pathetic actually. Boone would take care of it eventually.

"Why don't you turn this way and face the ocean?" Claire asked. "It's a nice view."

I met her eyes slowly, trying to force the answer to her question through them. I don't think I answered her question, but she let the question drop and turned back to her diary. I wish I could have answered her, to say something to show her that I wasn't being rude.

But what was the point of speaking, if no one would listen? But there was that one man, that man who had listened to me, the night my step-dad died.

_Flashback_

The rain fell hard against my face as my feet slapped against the pavement as hard as they possibly could. I could feel the cuts opening and the blood pooling across my bare feet, but that didn't slow my pace. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, the tears streaming down my face. Finally after running for several miles, I stopped and collapsed in front of a bar, gasping as I tried to slow my racing heart. I felt bad about abandoning Shannon at the hospital with my mother, but I couldn't handle it. My step-dad treated me more like his daughter then my own mother did. I was so close to him, he actually cared about me. I reached for the cell phone in my pocket and began to dial Boone's number, but then snapped the phone shut again. He couldn't do anything right now, he wasn't here. I pressed my head up against the bar and turned it up to the sky, the rain rushing down across my tear-stained cheeks.

"Bad day miss?"

I hadn't seen the man stop in front of me, and if I already wasn't backed up against a wall, I would have jumped. He streched out his hand and I looked at it frightfully.

"It's alright. Come on, let me take you inside out of the rain."

For some odd reason I took his hand and he walked me inside the bar, sitting me down at one of the tables. The bartender look at me angrily, my drenched clothing dripping all over the floor. The man who had brought me inside brought me a bottle of water, the cap sealed tightly on. He sat down across from me at the table, a small beer in his fingers.

"Make sure you mop up after yourself." The bartender threw a towel at me.

I glared at him as he walked away, wrapping the towel around my shoulders. I unscrewed the bottle cap and took a small sip, almost as if to be cautious.

"So you have a bad day miss?"

The least I could do was nod and respond to him, and he nodded in return.

"Yeah I've had quite a few of those. But you know, things will turn out better eventually. It just takes a little time for things to work out."

I forced a small smile and took another sip of the bottled water, kind of wishing I had shoes on at that moment. The cuts on my feet were going to get infected from this floor.

"I'm Desmond Hume by the way." He streched out his hand across the table.

I took his hand and shook it, still silent.

"You're Amy Carlyle aren't you? The daughter of the woman who makes the wedding gowns? I've seen you modeling some of them in the commercials. You never look too happy."

I shrugged and drank more of the water before running the towel through my hair. My feet were smacking against the back of the chair I was on, another urge to start running pulsing through my veins.

"I hope things work out better for you miss." Desmond said, letting me pass by him as I got down off my chair.

As I opened the door, I took another glance back at him before I started out the door. But the moment I was outside in the rain, I heard his voice again.

"Oy. Wait one second."

I stopped and turned around, stopping in front of him. He placed a small cross on a necklace into my hands before he turned and walked back inside the bar.

_End Flashback_

Desmond Hume. Would I ever see that man again? It wasn't likely. I fiddled with the cross necklace around my neck that he had given me, and I laid back against the bag.

**A/N: Alright I'm done for now. Sorry this chapter was a little dull, but there are certain things that need to be explained or have attention brought to before I can really start heating things up. Savvy?**

**Peace,**

**-Jackie-**


	6. Dealing With Baby

**A/N: ReviewsHappy Jackie. End of story. Enjoy the chapter!**

The following day when I awoke, Charlie was racing down the beach yelling for Jack. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, pushing some water into Ginny's cage before I did much of anything. Charlie pointed out to the ocean where a woman was far off, screaming for help. When I looked up and around me, I didn't see Boone anywhere. No way. Oh, my, god, no way! I jumped to my feet and peered out at the water, looking to see if he was truly out there. And then I saw him, his fingers barely clawing at the surface. Instinctively I pulled off my jeans and my hat, running toward the water's edge before I froze. _His_ body was lying there limply, the water turning a crimson red. Jack had already started out, racing toward the woman and oblivious to Boone drowning. Come on! Go! Finally I squeezed my eyes shut tight and dove into the water, cutting through the rough waves as hard as I could.

What was I thinking? I couldn't make it out here. If Boone was drowning, what the hell made me think that I could beat these vicious waves? Determination. That was the key. I refused to let another person I loved die, I couldn't let it happen again. I reached the spot where I had last seen Boone sink, only half water-logged by the time I reached there. Taking a deep breath I dove down into the water, the waves nearly turning me over as I tried to go straight down. I had to re-surface after a minute to catch my breath, the images of _him_ flashing across my mind and making me want to vomit. Boone needs me! Go now damn it! I forced myself to dive back down under the water, holding my breath for as long as I possibly could. I grasped what felt like Boone's arm and pulled him up to the surface. I fixed him in the position that he had taught me when he got his lifeguarding license as he gasped and panted for breath.

"Amy," Boone's voice was strained. "Go back, I'm fine."

I sighed and began to stroke back using my feet, the waves slamming down on my head occasionally. Each time it took me longer and longer to try and get back to the surface, my lungs straining to their full capacity. Each kick of my leg brought on a new wave of pain, and realization began to hit in that I was going to die. But as I made my way closer, a wave slammed me down so hard that I was unable to get back up. When I felt the next wave coming I pushed Boone along with it, praying he would make it the rest of the way to the shore. It shouldn't have been too far. The water was choking me, drowning me, I could barely think. _He_ was laying limply in front of me, the bullet holes clearly visible in his chest. Hands grasped my wrist and I was pulled away from_ him_, out of the water and onto the beach. I coughed and gasped, clinging onto Charlie's arm as I tried to not retch.

"It's alright, you're ok." He was patting my back.

But it wasn't ok. I had tried to repress those memories and now they had come back to haunt me. Boone. I looked up and he was catching his breath on the sand. God damn it Boone. Damn it. Even after Jack had made it back to shore, empty-handed, I still was grasping onto Charlie's arm as I tried to even out my breathing. Finally I released my grip and fell back, my breath now even and steady.

"You alright now?" He tried to confirm, taking Ginny from her little crate.

I waved away his concern with one hand, pulling my hat back on with the other. After that I tugged my jeans back on and streched out in the sunlight, attempting to dry out my clothes. I pressed a cool hand to my temple and exhaled heavily, desiring at that moment some time alone. I got up slowly, stepping around Boone who was staring out into the ocean in almost a trance-like state. As I started towards the jungle, I put a hand to my abdomen. I could feel the small buldge in it, not large, but it stood out.

_Flashback_

"Come on baby." Mitchell pleaded, tugging on my arm.

I shook my head slightly, tears flooding my eyes. The guy I had finally found, the guy who I had thought would make me feel better and get over _him_, now I found out he just wanted it.

"Please. I think it could take our relationship to the next level." He was practically begging as I slung my purse over my shoulder.

Again I shook my head, there was no way I was changing my morals to give in to what he wanted. He had actually gotten down on his knees, holding my hand and kissing it lightly.

"Come on please baby. I've been with you for almost a year now. You haven't spoken a word, I don't even know if you really do love me the way I love you. Can't you just do me this one bit of compassion and prove that you really do love me?"

He was breaking my heart, but there was no way I could possibly change just because he begged me to. So I finally managed another head shake and he got to his feet, anger and hurt clearly visible in his dark brown eyes.

"I can't believe you won't do me this one little thing. One itsy bitsy thing."

With tears flooding my eyes I stepped down towards the door and began to turn the doorknob.

"I can't believe you're going to leave!"

He roughly grabbed me by the wrist and yanked me back up the stairs and away from the door. I dropped my purse and sank my nails deep into his wrist, but he refused to let go as he dragged me over towards his bedroom. I finally resorted to refuse of movement and I sank down on the ground and pulled back against the ground.

"Damn it Amy! I'm going to get what I want from you, whether you agree or not!"

I continued to fight, but he managed to get me into the bedroom and had stripped me of all my clothes. This had been the second time I was raped by somebody. When Mitchell had finished stood back up and pulled his pants on, not trying to come at me when I had backed up into a corner, my clothes clutched to my chest and the tears running down my face.

"I-I'm sorry. I-I don't know what came over me."

He tried to approach me slowly and the only thing that would come out was a pained cry. He stopped dead in his tracks, turned, and walked out of the room as he closed the door behind him. I shakily pulled on my clothes and opened up the side window, not wanting to see his face. I climbed down the roof and onto the fire escape before I pulled off my shoes and started to run back toward the place I could barely consider a home.

About two months after the rape incident, I had bought a pregnancy test. I was sitting on my bed, re-reading the message that was printed across the small screen. **PREGNANT**. I felt my heart drop further into my stomach each time I read the message on the screen. With tears flooding my face I tossed the test away into the garbage and buried my head in my hands. I couldn't tell Boone, what would he say? Or rather what would he do? No, he didn't need to know. Sure he would find out eventually, but I wasn't going to mention it, not ever.

_End Flashback_

Boone had found out eventually, obviously. He became infuriated when I refused to tell him who had gotten me pregnant. I had found out I was pregnant about three months before this whole island crashing had happened. The baby...I would defientaly keep the baby. There was no question about it. Just because his/her father was a jackass doesn't mean I couldn't love and keep the child. But, being a teen mother? It was hypocricy in itself. I dispised all those teen mothers who had gotten themselves pregnant because they agreed to have sex. But yet here I stood, five months pregnant. But it was different wasn't it? I mean, I was raped. It didn't take long before Charlie was following me as I wandered into in the jungle.

"So, I noticed you were pregnant. How is it that you managed to save your brother like that? That was amazing!"

Honestly, I couldn't explain how I had done it. Pure will? Who the hell knows. I had exercised a lot in my life, all the running I had done, some swimming, and the pregnancy had done nothing to stop that. That could have had something to do with it.

"I mean, you seem to be coming along there. Shouldn't you be sitting and resting?"

Probably.

"How many months are you?"

In the hopes of shutting him up, I held up five fingers and kept on walking.

"Well, I'm gonna head back. If you need anything, call-"

He cut off mid-sentence. He began to realize that I wasn't going to call for him, I didn't need him. A moment after he had disappeared, I saw Jack running through the woods. It wasn't worth following him. I turned around and followed Charlie back to the beach, suddenly needing a large gulp of water. I took one of my bottles and squirted it into my mouth. Claire, where was she at? Charlie was sitting beside her under one of the tents. Had she fainted or something?

Ginny mewed at me, remiding me that I was supposed to feed her again. I placed some food in front of her and turned back to the ocean. How had I managed to survive making it back with Boone this far along in my pregnancy. It was almost like Claire going out and doing it. Almost.

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I spent the entire rest of the day doing absolutely nothing, and by nightfall, everybody had circled around Boone, demanding to know why he had taken the last of the camp's water. I pushed past all the people as Charlie screamed accusingly at him. I managed to get between the two of them and pushed them apart, staring angrily at both of them.

"ENOUGH!"

We all turned to see Jack had returned and I immidietaly lost interest in the entire thing. By the time his speech was finished, I was already back on the blanket and falling fast asleep.

**A/N: Sorry this chapter seemed sorta rushed toward the end, I'm absolutely exhausted. I'm also sorry I haven't written in awhile, I've just been so busy. I promise I'll be better if you review!**

**Peace,**

**-Jackie-**


	7. Druggie Rockstars and Baby Feet

**A/N: Alright everbody, I have some bad news. I'm not going to update this story anymore unless I get some feedback. I posted this so that way people could enjoy the story and at the same time I would get some criticism on the stuff I've been writing. I appreciate the very few reviews I get, but it would be a lot better if I didn't get "This is great! Update soon!" That doesn't tell me anything. What did you like about the chapter? What can I fix? If I don't start getting more feedback and comments, I'm afraid I'm just not going to update anymore. I really need this feedback, it's really, really important to me. So please, I've got about six people who have either favourited/alerted this story, so can't you send me in some feedback if it was worth favouriting or alerting so you can know when I update? Come on! Please? It takes a grand total of about sixty seconds to send me some feedback on my chapter. So I want at the very LEAST four reviews before I will even consider updating anymore. I've got a lot of plot twists built up for this story, but if you can't send me a little bit of comments back, well then why should I bother? Please? And to those who have been sending me really good feedback, thanks. And I'm sorry if I sounded whiny and bitchy, but this really is important to me.**

**Enjoy this chapter while it lasts. 4 reviews, or I'm not updating anymore.**

**-A very annoyed Jackie-**

The following morning I packed up my things to follow Charlie, Kate, Locke, and Jack down to the caves that Jack had discovered the previous night. It took me a minute to stand up, the morning sickness heaving through every inch of my limbs. Boone grabbed my wrist to support me up while I overcame the dizziness.

"I still don't understand why you won't rat out the little bastard who did this to you."

As if I didn't know what he was talking about, he pointed to the buldge in my stomach, which seemed to get increasingly larger with each passing day. I tugged my hand free as Charlie approached, handing me an extra bottle of water to stuff into my pack.

"You sure you're going to be alright?" Boone prodded even more.

I turned and gave him such a furious glare that he finally backed down and put his hands up like a caught criminal. Then he turned a glare to Charlie and pointed a finger directly in his face.

"You watch her. If anything happens to her, it'll be your head."

"You got it, Sergent Prick." Charlie said, saluting him.

I bit back a wave of laughter and began to walk after Jack, Kate, and Locke, who had already started going through the jungle. As we walked, I took the pen that was always shoved behind my ear and began to scribble down some song lyrics that I had thought of the other night onto my palm.

"Whatcha writing there?" Charlie glanced over my shoulder.

I stuck the pen back behind my ear and clenched my hand into a fist, to hide the words from him.

"Oh I see, you're one of those mysterious song writers."

I rolled my eyes. Mysterious song writer? No. Paranoid teenager? Yes. Just because Charlie was nice to me didn't mean that once we got off this island he wouldn't steal my music and use it for himself. I mean, what was stopping him? It wasn't like I was going to say anything about it if he did. Six incredibly long years without speaking to anybody...had it really been six years? Well...if I was thinking accurately, it was six years, three months, two days, and five hours. Yes, I was keeping track. It was every moment that I was living, and _he_ was not. How was I supposed to feel? Suddenly there was a sharp throbbing pain against my stomach wall and I doubled over, the bag slipping from my shoulders. I grabbed onto the tree branch and retched onto a pile of leaves. Disgusting.

"Hey guys! We should slow down for a sec! I think Amy's gotten a little sick!" Charlie called, dropping his bag.

"It's just morning sickness Charlie, a lot of pregnant women get it."

"Yeah, but we should still wait a minute and let her take a breather. Right?"

Jack looked from Kate, to Locke, then back to Charlie.

"Fine." He sighed.

Everybody dropped their bags and sank down to the ground, grabbing some drinking water from the sacks. I finally was able to sit down, and Charlie handed me the water from my bag. The water washed out the horrible taste in my mouth and actually started up the baby. It kicked against the wall of my stomach and I shifted slightly uncomfortably. But at the same time I was extremely relieved. I hadn't felt the baby move at all since the crash, and just to know that it was still in one peace spread relief across my entire body.

"What? Something else wrong?" Charlie asked, his voice either in mock concern or actual concern I couldn't tell.

I shook my head and actually smiled, my hand running across the spot where I could feel the baby kicking.

"The baby moving around?" Jack asked, taking another sip of his water.

I nodded and continued to feel around the spot, tracing the outline of the baby's foot whenever it kicked. There was something about this little child growing inside of me that actually made me happy. I have no idea what the hell it was, but it was almost like I needed to have this baby, to be complete myself. One thing was for sure, I sure as hell didn't want to have the baby on this island. It deserved better then that. Charlie's fingers flexed at his side, his hand raised slightly, then it set itself back down on the ground. I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hand, placing it on the buldge and placing my hand on top of his. His eyes lit up slightly and he laughed.

"I can feel it! I mean I can actually feel it!"

"We should probably get moving." Locke interruped, picking up his bag.

That was him, the human prick. Couldn't give me five god damn minutes to try and relax. I was pregnant for god sake. I needed time to rest after recovering from morning sickness. But instead I grabbed my bag and pulled it over my shoulders, ignoring Charlie's outstreched hand and instead using the tree bark to pull myself up.By the time we reached the caves it was already mid-day, and I was far too exhausted to try and make it back immidietaly. I sat down and reached for the water bottle again, finishing off whatever was left inside of it. Charlie had disappeared along with Kate, Locke, and Jack, so I relaxed in the shade as the baby continued to kick against the wall of my stomach.

Names. What would I name the thing? If It was a girl the name Davanee always appealed to me, but for a boy? I have no idea. I streched out my arms and my fingers brushed something cold and sort of sticky. When I turned to see what it was, I felt the blood drain from my face. A skeleton with dispatched clothing was lying with its mouth wide open and the blank eye sockets staring up at me. I jumped from my spot and a scream tore from my lips. In an instant everybody had run back, but not because they had heard me scream. Each one of them was covered in bee stings, but they still managed to turn their attention to the skeletons. Corpses were one thing, skeletons were a totally different story. It was only after Jack and Kate had finished packing all the water and had left to go back to camp that I had managed to calm down. Locke and Charlie were having side conversations while I dug through random boxes to try and find things that might be useful.

Charlie came back finally towards the evening with his guitar in hand, strumming the strings as if to assure himself that it was still in tact. As I was digging through one of the crates, something sharp stung my finger and I immidietaly withdrew it. Blood trickled from the wound and I popped my finger into my mouth and moved some of the junk aside.

"What is it?"

I pulled out an open pocket knife and closed the tip, turning it over in my fingers. On the side there was a name engraved the the smooth metal.

_James Ford_

I pointed the name out to Charlie and he shook his head.

"Nope, I don't know who that is."

Well whoever it did belong to probably didn't need it anymore. I stuck it into my back pocket and continued to rummage through the box for anything that I could consider useful. But nothing else seemed to pop up. As Jack continued to come back with other people from the beach, I sat propped up against the fountain...whatever thing. I was fiddling with the small necklace as my mind wrapped around Desmond.

Who was he really?

**A/N: I'm tired, cut me some slack. Alright, please don't make this be one of the last chapters.**

**-Jackie-**


	8. The Cave In

**A/N: Wow, you guys really surprised me. I quite honestly believed I wasn't going to get anymore reviews b/c I was demanding them. Thank you. I really appreciate the feedback. So, for your helpfulness, here's another chapter!**

A day or two passed with no action or happenings whatsoever, but as these days did go by, Charlie became stranger and stranger. It must have been the drugs. Had he lost some of them on the plane? No. He hadn't. How did I know this? Because I had the heroin in my pocket. John had come to me the very night Charlie had gotten his guitar back and pulled me aside before the people had begun to show up.

_"Amy, I need you to hold onto this."_

_I gave him a strange look as he handed me the small packet of heroin. Was he trying to set me up or something like that?_

_"It's Charlie's," He continued. "He traded it for his guitar. i need you to hang onto it. When the time comes, you'll know what to do with it."_

Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. I looked over at Charlie to see him strumming the guitar keys, his eyes red and blotchy, his face covered in sweat. His fingers twitched as they tried to hit the right strings, but he couldn't concentrate. He wiped his eyes again and paused to look up at the doorway. This was ridiculous. He shouldn't have been taking the drugs in the first damn place. Yeah, I was actually feeling bad. But at the same time I didn't. This was going to tear him apart either way, and I would prefer if I didn't cause him to O.D. I had to do something to take his mind off of this whole drug issue. I stood up slowly as the baby shifted around, sending an angry kick at my stomach wall for getting up too quickly. After the dizziness faded away I stood in front of Charlie until he looked up. I streched out my right hand to get him up and pointed to the jungle.

"I don't want to walk now. Thanks." His voice quavered.

I don't care if _he_ didn't want to walk, _I_ wanted to walk.

"Don't worry Preggers." Sawyer's voice sent chills up my neck. "I'll go with you on a walk."

Charlie glared up at Sawyer's calm, smooth expression, but said nothing as he turned back to his guitar. He was actually going to just sit here and let Sawyer walk with me? This was getting serious. I pushed past Sawyer and started into the woods alone, hearing Boone's voice echo as he called after me. But I didn't even make it halfway through the forest before morning sickness took over and I was forced back to the caves to rest. People in the caves were looking around the entire place, Michael checking for any types of possible formation issues. Jack was inside one of the caverns, examining for anything useful or helpful. Maybe he had something that could help with my morning sickness. I grabbed the two bottles I had taken from the plane so I could figure out which one to use and walked inside the cavern.

"Hey Amy, it's not safe. You shouldn't really be in here." He greeted me with his usual concern. "Not after that violent morning sickness you had."

I rolled my eyes and held out the two bottles, letting his flashlight run over the two labels.

"Well..."He sighed. "For infections I would recommend the antibiotic, but with the pregnency I really wouldn't take either of them. Could be harmful to the baby. Now, if I can find some-"

"So I'm just in the way am I?!" Charlie cut Jack off, storming into the cave with a furious glare.

"Charlie, what-?" Jack began, confused.

"Charlie's just in the way! Charlie's not good enough!"

"Charlie, I think you just need to calm down..."

"YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" He shouted. "I'M A BLOODY ROCK GOD!"

As the words left his lips the entire cave began to shudder and shake,small pebbles slowly rolling off the walls first. Then suddenly the walls began to come down all together. I backed up on instinct and put my hands over my head before my feet fell out beneath me. The rocks continued to come down and despite my efforts to not get hit, there was an instant blackout.

_Flashback/Concussion induced rememberance stream_

I climbed out my bedroom window and once my feet hit the solid ground I tore off the stupid high heel shoes my mother had been trying to make me wear and sprinted down the street as fast as my feet would carry me. I made it halfway down the street, made a turn, and found myself standing at his doorstep. The shaggy dirty blonde hair appeared in the doorway first, concealing up those goregous sky blue eyes.

"Hey, let me in?" I asked.

He nodded and moved out of the way, opening the door just enough for me to squeeze through. He pressed a finger to his lips and then pointed to the living room, where the TV was blaring. He gestured for me to follow him up the stairs and I did so. We were completely silent until we got up to his bedroom, where he shut the door quietly behind him. I streched out on his bed and stared up at the Beatles poster on his ceiling.

"Bad day at home?" He mused, settling down on the bed beside me.

"You know how it is." I replied, grabbing one of the pillows and shoving it into my face.

"Wedding dress?"

"Ugliest frigging thing I've ever seen."

He laughed quietly, then stared.

"Hey Amy..."

"Hmm?"

He didn't say anything else, indicating that he wanted me to sit up and actually look him in the eyes. I did so and cracked my fingers while I waited for him to say the next thing that was on his mind.

"Amy, we've been best friends since we were born. And...during that time...well I-"

"Don't!" I leapt from the bed.

The surprised and hurt expression that passed over his face was enough to tear my heart out, but I couldn't let this happen. I wouldn't.

"Look, you're my best friend. You know I love you. But just...not like...ugh!"

I opened up his bedroom window and slid down the roof, leaping and rolling so I wouldn't break my legs when I hit the grass. Without looking back I broke off into a run, Jude's voice ringing in my ear as he called after me.

Little did I know that the next day, would be the very last day of my life.

_End Flashback_

There was something warm touching the sides of my face, and I wished they would go away. Words were being spoken, but they didn't make any sense. It hurt to try and focus on what the person was saying, but after a few more moments, I was able to make out my name.

"Amy...Amy...Amy...Amy..."

I opened my eyes a crack and stared at ocean blue eyes, so familar. I almost choked out Jude's name but it froze on my tounge. Instead I tried focusing on recognizing the face in front of me.

"Amy...can you hear me?"

Clearer. Sort of. After another few moments Charlie's face came into clarity. With a groan I shifted slightly, removing the probe rock in my back. I ran a hand through my hair and felt the hot, sticky blood that was present seeping through my hat.

"Easy now, easy..." Charlie said quietly, as if he was speaking to a wounded animal. "Your arm alright Jack?"

"Yeah, it hurts like hell, but it's alright. Thanks. Amy how's your head?"

I said nothing, but showed him the blood on my palm.

"We've got to get out of here." Charlie sighed, sitting back.

A small flapping noise caught my attention, and Charlie's also. We looked up and noticed the moth fluttering around at the top of the cave.

"There's a bloody moth in here!"

Before Jack could stop him, Charlie began to tear at the ceiling until he managed to dig open a hole in the ceiling that led to the fresh air above. Charlie helped Jack up first through the hole before turning back to me. I looked at the opening that he had made. It wasn't nearly big enough for my pregnant belly to squeeze through. I shook my head and pulled my hand back, pointing to the opening and then back to Charlie.

"Oh no, come on, you can squeeze through I'm sure-"

I shot him a questiong/sarcastic look that stopped him mid sentence.

"Alright, maybe it's not big enough, but I'm not leaving you in here alone."

"HEY!" Jack called. "LET'S GET OUT OF THERE!"

"Go back Jack!" Charlie called back up. "Amy can't fit through there! Get back and help them!"

"Right!"

I could hear his footsteps receeding away and slowly sank back down onto the bed of rocks. My head was throbbing painfully, and there was nothing that I could use to try and stop the blood flow from my head. So I sacrificed my hat and pressed it hard against my head, feeling the blood seep through the stiches in the hat. Charlie tried digging at the ceiling some more, but he could only make it big enough for us to get air in and out so we didn't suffocate. He was so stubborn. He could easily fit through that hole and be out their helping the people get me out of here. But no, he'd rather sit here and keep me company. I didn't need him around. Charlie finally gave up and sat down across from me, hands twitching as he tried to concentrate at the problem at hand.

"I don't know if you know, but I'm a drug addict. Well, I'm trying to kick it, that is."

Of course I knew. I nodded. Due to my anxiousness and impatience, I began to twirl around the Driveshaft ring on my middle finger of my left hand

"I still wonder how you got one of those. The only one I've ever seen is the one I'm wearing right now."

I had a replica made. When I found out that the band had fallen apart, I wanted something to remember them by. So I went to a jewler and used up a shitload of my mother's money to have a replica made. It was worth every penny. Should I be excited that I was sitting with one of the band members? Probably. But at the same time he irritated the hell out of me. He was trying too hard to get people to recognize him. I would like him for him, not for this legendary rock god he was pretending to be.

"You know, it was all because of my brother. And I could have stopped it at any time," He confessed. "But I didn't. I was so caught up with the band and the drugs just seemed to be a way to console it."

He paused for awhile, perking up slightly as digging could be heard on the other side of the rockwall.

"So who's the father?"

The baby. I had forgotten. I placed a hand hard against my belly, and thankfully felt the tiny baby's hand respond in return. It was ok. Thank god. I took Charlie's hand and pressed it to my belly once again.

"You know, I've always wanted a family. I'm sure you didn't want this to happen to you so early, but now you've started your own little family."

That was true, I had. So Charlie continued to talk for several hours until finally the other remaining survivors had managed to dig us out of the rock wall. Boone embraced me tightly and dragged me back from Charlie, fury etching in his eyes.

"You had better not have hurt her!" He hissed.

"We were in a cave. What could I have possibly done?" Charlie asked innocently.

Before Boone managed to steer me completely away, I placed the bag of heroin in Charlie's hand. He gave me a frightened look, but I knew he knew what to do.

Later that evening, he tossed the remaining heroin in the fire.

Good boy Charlie. Now, I had somebody to trust on this god for saken place.

**A/N\: REVIEW PLEASE!**


	9. It was the End of my Life

**A/N: Only two reviews? Come ON! Do I have to threaten to not post anymore chapters to get some feedback from the 7 people who have set my story to their alert or favourite list? COME ON! Let's get with the program here!**

Besides Shannon's asthma attack, nothing happened for a few days more. Charlie and Claire really began to bond, just something about seeing the two of them made me miss Jude more and more. Charlie was seeming to become infatuiated witih her actually, the way he tried to comfort her at every turn, the way he spoke gently and made her laugh. He was even beginning to get over his drug issues to focus more on Claire, and also myself. Did pregnant women turn him on or something? Eww. Disgusting thought. Moving along. But Claire began to have these violent, and possibly pregnant induced, nightmares that caused her to wake up screaming. When it happened for the second night in a row, I sat beside Claire while everybody else had gone out to search for the man that she claimed attacked her. Even Charlie had gone out to join the search, and at the same time I feared I would be next. Claire sat silent for the longest time, which really quite annoyed me. There had to be _something_ she wanted to say, she always wanted to talk.

"Who do you think it was?" She finally spoke, pulling the blanket tightly around herself.

There it was. The question that always required an answer. I shrugged slightly and slid down off the log and closer to the fire, warming up my frozen and cut up feet. I had been lectured several times by Boone and Jack to put on some shoes before I step on something potentially dangerous, but I still refused. I couldn't stand shoes, they drove me absolutely insane.

"You believe me," She turned to catch my eyes. "don't you?"

Of course I did, and I nodded to let her know so. Just because she had a nightmare didn't mean that it couldn't have been real. Charlie suddenly re-entered the cave, of course, just in time for Boone to come in as well.

"Come on Amy." He dragged me up roughly by my uppder arm.

I winced slightly as the sudden quick movement caused me to get incredibly dizzy. Boone seemed to be oblivious to this as he tugged me away from Charlie and Claire, thrusting me down on the ground roughly beside Shannon.

"Easy Boone!" She snapped. "She's pregnant, not a rag doll."

"That Charlie guy keeps following her around!" Boone snapped. "I don't trust him!"

I rolled my eyes and stood back up, slowly as if to prove to him that this was the PROPER way to help up a pregnant girl. I started to walk back toward Charlie, who happily waved me over, when Boone grabbed my arm again.

"Amy, stay AWAY from him!" He yelled, his voice reaching levels it shouldn't in this enclosed cave.

"Hey take it easy," Charlie came up from his position next to Claire.

"TAKE IT EASY!" Boone was now shouting. "YOU DIDN'T TAKE IT EASY ON ME WHEN I WAS TRYING TO GIVE CLAIRE THAT WATER!"

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HID IT FOR THE ENTIRE DAY AND ALMOST MADE HER DIE!"

I put my hands over my ears as they continued to shout. With a hand on either of their chests I pushed the two of them apart and stormed off into the dark jungle, but not before grabbing my guitar before I did so. I played as I walked, trying to come up with some sort of lullaby for the baby. But every time I thought I was coming close to a breakthrough, the song suddenly just didn't sound right and I would get pissed all over again. Finally I sat down and relaxed in the starlight. I had never seen stars look this beautiful before. It took my mind away from the fact that there was a pyscho storming through the woods that had just attacked Claire. I tuned the guitar again and listened to the sound of cruching leaves from behind me. Instead of getting afraid like I should have, I didn't even have to turn around to know that it was either Charlie or Boone.

"Amy, what the hell are you doing?" Charlie's voice demanded as the light from his flashlight beat down on my back. "I was so wo-...I mean you've set your brother up into a frenzy. Like he isn't pissed enough!"

He grabbed me roughly by the arm and tried to drag me up. On instinct alone, I punched him hard in the chest and set him falling to the ground. Instantly the blood drained from my face and for some bizzare reason I immidietaly regretted the action. I mean, he had jerked me up. He was trying to force me around. He deserved it right? After Charlie got his wind back he pulled himself up to his feet, while my hands cupped my mouth.

"Well..." He began, rubbing his chest. "First off, that hurt like hell. Secondly, normally I would get really bloody pissed about something like that. But the way I figure it, I was asking for it."

I could only nod in agreement as my hands did not leave my mouth.

"I shouldn't have tried to pull you up that hard. That's exactly the reason I was yelling at your brother in the first place. I'm sorry."

He led me back to the caves gently this time, a hand placed softly on my upper arm as he guided me in the right direction. I sat down beside Boone once again and ignored his screaming accusations as I allowed myself to be drifted off into sleep.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following morning I did not wake up until around noonish, and the reason for that was because of Claire screaming at Charlie this time. I groaned but got up out of bed anyways and followed after the two of them as Claire stormed off into the woods. Claire was a few steps ahead of Charlie, who was actually silent for once in the whole time I had met him.

"Go back Charlie." She finallly rounded on him.

"I can't right now. I need to make sure you get there alright."

She rolled her eyes but continued onward until we were deep into the forest, where Charlie was walking beside her. I got tempted to turn around and just go back and listen to Shannon babble about what she was going to do once she got off the island, but Claire stopped me dead. She made a small groaning noise and dropped her bag, one hand clutching her stomach.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Charlie's voice was tracing with panic.

"Contractions!" She manages to gasp.

"Ok! Ok! This is great! I can do this!" He was now panicking.

"Go get Jack!" Claire shouted at him.

"YOU JUST NEED TO RELAX!" Charlie was panicking more then her. "WE JUST NEED TO COUNT THE CONTRACTIONS! One sugar plum fairy, two sugar plum fairies..."

"Go get Jack!" Claire repeated as I sat her down on the ground.

"NO! If I can kick drugs I can deliver a baby!"

Claire gave him a strange look.

"Let me explain. I was a drug addict. I'm clean now!"

"GO GET JACK!" She screamed.

"Right!"

I helped Claire relax on the ground and allowed her to squeeze my hand. God, this was all so exciting. I couldn't _wait_to have my baby.

"Drug addict?" Claire inquired to me through a gasp of pain.

I shrugged my shoulders as if I didn't know what he was talking about and flexed my fingers to try and get the blood circulating in them again. Charlie was back a moment later, taking Claire's other hand as she gasped and panted while Charlie talked calmly to her. As they talked, I looked around. Knowing Jack, he should have been here by now. He was so intent on being the hero all the time, he would have been here the instant that Charlie had called for him. After a few more moments Claire began to stand up.

"I think," She began. "I think I'm alright."

"See, I told you I would take care of you." Charlie said, helping her stand.

"Thanks Charlie."

"You're quite welcome."

They stood there smiling at each other while I reached into my back pocket for the knife I had found the other day. Something didn't feel right. I don't know what told me so, but a split moment later, a man stepped out from around one of the trees.

"Hello there." The man said, staring at Claire.

"Ethan..." Charlie began wairly, putting a secure arm around Claire as I stood to the side of Ethan.

"Put it down." Ethan hissed at me, staring with those dark eyes.

My fingers still locked around it, even as Charlie began to make a small shift forward. In one swift movement Ethan lunged at me and held me in a chokehold. Charlie froze for a moment, and I saw the fear flood his eyes before something hit the back of my head. I instantly lost conciousness, Claire's screams flooding my ears.

_Flashback_

Jude and I were walking alongside one of the ponds, him walking on top of the brick walling that separated the pond and the ground. Boone had always warned me to stay away from there, especially when it got close to dark. But, being the rebellious pre-teen that I was, I completely ignored him. Gangs liked to lurk around this area during the twilight hours, but it was the quickest way to get back to Jude's house. We were making some joke about how I would end up growing up and running head first into Charlie Pace, when we were cornered.

"Hey," One man said exhaling smoke into my face. "Don't you kiddies know you shouldn't be playing here this late at night?"

"W-We were just walking home." I stammered.

"Oh, is that so?" The man with the lip piercing replied. "It looks like to me that you were trespassing on _our_ territory."

"We were just cutting through." Jude answered smoothly, still standing on the brick wall.

"I wasn't talking to you!" Pierce shouted. "Now, aren't you a pretty thing..."

His hand touched my arm and I jumped back with a cry of pain.

"HEY!" Jude shouted. "Don't touch h-"

Before he even had a chance to finish his sentence, there was a loud _**BANG**_ and then a splash. I turned to the man in the center and stared into the smoking barrel of his gun. But that I paid no attention to. Jude had disappeared from the ledge. I jumped up onto the bricks and stared down into the water. There was Jude's limp body, turning the water beneath him a crimson red. His head was face down in the water and I felt my heart drop out onto the ground.

"JUDE!" A scream tore from my throat.

Tears running down my cheeks, I could not pull my eyes away from the corpse of my best friend floating in the water.

"Sorry missy," The man with the gun said as I turned to stare at him. "Orders are orders."

"What?"

With another _**BANG**_ I felt an explosion tear across my stomach and it caused me to lose my balance. I tumbled backwards off the ledge and fell into the pond with a hard splash. My hands and legs rendered themselves useless as I made an attempt to move. Every inch of my body was screaming in pain as I began to sink away from the surface. I fell underneath Jude, the bullet hole in his forehead clearly visible as his wide open eyes and mouth gaped at me, as if to say something or warn me of something. Last thing I remember was a loud splash and then, nothing.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I awoke slowly in a pure white bed, IV's and tubes leading from every inch of my body to weird looking machines. There were tubes in my nose that were pumping in pure oxygen, and bandages wound around my stomach. I turned my head slowly and tried to recollect everything that had happened, but I couldn't remember. We were walking...then...nothing. Boone and Shannon were slumped over in some chairs in the corner of the room, and to my right there were flowers and balloons that lined every inch of the floor. Boone shifted, then blinked twice. Once he saw that I was awake, he carefully untangled himself from Shannon's grasp and came over to my bedside.

"Hey sweetie, how you feeling?"

"Like shit." I responded hoarsely, still trying to recall what had happened. "Boone, what happened?"

"You don't remember?" He sounded like he had hoped he could avoid this part.

"Remember what?"

"Amy..." He began slowly. "You and Jude were playing by the allies where I told you to stay away. Something happened, and you and Jude were both shot and fell into the pond."

Jude's horrfying facial expression haunted my vision.

"JUDE!" I shouted in my cracking voice. "WHERE'S JUDE?!"

Boone's eyes flooded and he buried his head in my bed sheet.

"Boone, where is Jude?"

"He's...dead. I'm so sorry Amy. I dove in the water after the two of you as Shannon called an ambulance, but the bullet went right through his head-"

He stopped as the realization hit me like a train. Jude was dead. He was dead. Dead.

From that moment on I never said a word, because anything I said felt like I was talking to Jude. And as for what the man had said...

I always believed it had been my mother. I think she paid that man to kill the two of us, and he succeeded.

_End Flashback_

**A/N: REVIEW OR YOU'LL NEVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! As yes, this is Amy's haunting/dawning past. Scary isn't it? Peace out!**

**-Jackie-**


	10. What Hurts the Most

**A/N: I'M STILL NOT GETTING ANY REVIEWS! COME ON!!!**

**-Very pissed off Jackie-**

Charlie tried to tackle Ethan to the ground, but he got to Amy before he even had a chance to move. In a split instant she was unconcious on the ground, and Claire let loose a loud, piercing scream. Charlie ran to Claire's side and pushed her behind him, but Ethan was there once again. He grabbed Charlie by the throat with one hand and knocked pinched the pressure point on Claire's shoulder near her neck. She instantly collapsed on the ground and Charlie struggled to get free.

"NO!" He yelled out, kicking and punching any part of Ethan that he could still see.

Ethan spun him around and slammed him up against a tree. Charlie gasped and clawed at Ethan's tight fingers cutting off oxygen to his lungs.

"You are going to come with me, you are going to carry her," He pointed to Amy. "And you are not going to make a sound."

He loosened his grip on Charlie's neck and Charlie fell gasping and panting for breath. Once he regained his composure, Ethan scooped Claire up into his arms and turned expectantly toward Charlie, who didn't move. He was frozen to the ground, unsure of what to do.

"Let me put this is simplier terms," Ethan hissed, pulling out a gun from his back pocket. "You either pick her up now and follow me, or I blow her frigging brains out."

Charlie stared for a moment more, his mind racing, but finally bent down and gathered Amy up into his arms. Ethan gestured for Charlie to start walking first, and he did as he was told. They moved at a quick pace, their destination completely unknown to him. Amy was heavy in his arms, almost to the point that it felt like they were going to break in two. But he remained calm and composed. If he didn't, either Claire or Amy was going to die. He wouldn't let that happen, not to either of them. Claire...even her name sounded sweet on his tounge. Her beautiful face, her elegance, her grace. Also, her stubbornness and her confidence. She was so unlike all the other "relations" he had in the past. They had all loved him because he was a rockstar, or because they wanted some of his drugs. But Claire...no Claire liked him for who he was. Charlie Pace, the guy that was nice to her while they all struggled to survive on this potentially dangerous island. And then there was Amy...why was she so quiet? Why would she never say a word? The quieter she was, the more he wanted to know about her. She was an obsessed Driveshaft fan, yet she didn't act in the strange way that any normal teenager would if they had met him. He had so many questions he wanted to ask her, but he knew that they would probably never be answered. But as they say, silence is bliss.

Ethan pulled ahead of Charlie and pressed a finger to his lips before gesturing up the hill he expected Charlie to climb up. It was steep, and quite muddy, one could easily slip and get hurt trying to go up it. But he would do anything...everything that would prevent Claire or Amy from getting hurt by Ethan's hand. Anything. Everything.

"Let's go." Ethan hissed. "Your god damn friends are right on our tail."

Oh thank bloody God, Charlie thought to himself. Thank you God Locke. If anybody could come and help out with this, it was the world's freakiest bounty hunter. Charlie carefully climbed up the hill and set Amy down on the ground beside the spot where Ethan had set Claire down.

"Stay here." Ethan hissed before disappearing behind some trees.

It was from the tape from his fingers that Charlie had placed along the way that they had been traveling. Even when Ethan had gone backwards in his own tracks, Charlie left tape in the right paths. The letter "E" was the only one left that he could sacrifice before he would have to start with Amy's hand warmers/gloves. She would be pissed when she woke up, but hopefully he could convince her to be grateful that she was still alive. Rain began to pour down heavily upon his head, and also on the heads of the two unconcious girls. Amy seemed to love the rain. She was always standing in it or sitting in it. For what reason he could never really be sure. And what was with her no shoes policy? Charlie bent over and examined the cuts and blisters all over the bottom of her feet, that could possibly cause an infection. If he had to force it, he would get a pair of shoes on her feet. He vowed it. He looked towards the woods ahead of him. He could make a break for it. But, it was impossible for him to carry both Claire and Amy, and that would mean leaving one of them behind. That, he could never do. After a few moments the rain had ceased, and Ethan was back, his eyes wild with fury. He grabbed a bunch of vines off of one of the trees and began to tie them together in a sturdy not.

"Oy, what are you doing?" Charlie demanded, eyes wide as he saw the noose being formed. "You can't hang either of them! They're both pregnant!"

Ethan said nothing as he threw one of the vines behind one of the trees. Charlie came closer and gave Ethan a hard shove toward the ground. If the others were close behind, then they could help get Amy and Claire out of here. All he had to do was stall. Ethan tore a piece of cloth off his shirt and made sure it was sturdy.

"It's not for them Charlie," He said quietly with a malevolent smile.

He twisted Charlie's arms behind his back and then tied the cloth over Charlie's eyes.

"-It's for you."

Charlie felt the vines around his neck and suddenly, they were constricing his windpipe and he felt his feet leave the ground. He twisted around wildly and grabbed at his throat, trying desperatly to free the force that was slowly taking his life force away.

"I told you to just do as you were told Charlie!" Ethan's taunting voice rang in his ears.

No, please God no. Charlie tried to free himself, but his breath now could only come in short, rapid gasps. He was getting away! Ethan was going to get away with Amy and Claire! No no no no no! But just as his final breath passed through his lips and he stopped struggling, he heard a soft voice, so meledious, so beautiful, whisper...

"Charlie...?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My head was throbbing so violently I thought it was going to explode. God damn it. Why was I always getting hit in the head? Out of all the places to recieve an injury, my head must have had a fricking bullseye on it. I had to blink a few times to get my vision back in order, but I could see Ethan standing beneath somebody, something, with Claire in his arms.

"I told you to do just as you were told Charlie!" Ethan hissed.

I looked up and made out the outline of Charlie dangling off the ground, some sort of vine like thing around his neck. It took a few seconds for it to register in my brain that Charlie was being hung, he was dying! I grabbed hold of the tree branch behind me and pulled myself up onto my feet. Ethan spun around to stare at me, his eyes flaring and his mouth twisted. He looked toward the trees, then back at me.

"I'll be back for you, you hear?"

And with that he disappeared, Claire in his arms. No, no he couldn't take her...

My vision flared in and out, but I found myself standing underneath Charlie barely moving body. I seized hold onto one of his feet as if to pull him down in my delirious state.

"Charlie..."

He stopped moving altogether, and his hands dropped away from his throat. He was dead. Charlie was dead. My vision blurred again, but this time, hot tears slowly rolled out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I held tightly onto his foot, ignoring the blood I felt rolling down the sides of my face, mixing with my tears. No Charlie, please don't leave me alone. Please. Charlie please no. I couldn't take this, not again. I collapsed on the ground, my fingers still locked onto his checkered Vans. The trees in to the side of me suddenly parted, and Jack and Kate were there. Kate's eyes went horrifyingly wide while Jack ran at Charlie. He lifted Charlie up as if to help him breathe and then gasped to Kate;

"You got to cut him down!"

"O-ok." She stammered, climbing up one of the trees.

Charlie was down a moment later and I fell back, gasping and panting and grasping at Kate's fingers as Jack tried to recisitate Charlie.

"Amy, it's ok, it's ok Amy..." She tried to assure me through her tears. "JACK STOP!"

I could barely get enough air into my lungs as I squeezed her fingers tightly.

"Come on Charlie!" Jack shouted. "COME ON!"

"JACK STOP! HE'S GONE!" Kate rounded on him.

I put my hands over my ears and tried to slow my tears. Why Charlie? Why did this happen to him? Why...why was it that all the people around me who I got attached to die? Kate was still sobbing as she examined the other lump on my head.

"COME ON CHARLIE!" Jack was pounding hard on Charlie's chest, with every ounce of available strength he had between gasps.

But when all hope seemed pointless, Charlie suddenly gasped loudly. I pushed Kate's hands out of the way and pulled myself over to Charlie's side. His fingers locked onto Jack's shirt as he gasped, his eyes wide and he stared around at his surroundings as he tried to adjust to what had just happened.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

We made our way back to the camp and were soon their by nightfall. Boone had gone off with Locke looking for me, but out of all the people I trusted Boone to be with, it was Locke. Charlie sat still as stone by the fire, as silent as I was. His eyes watched the fire lick at the wood, his fingers tense against his knees. I sat beside him, my fingers tense around a bottle of water. Jack had already confronted the two of us about what had happened, but neither of us could give a description as to what had transpired.

"Boone's not back yet." Shannon came up behind me.

I turned to face her, that horrified expression she had on her face. I took her hand gently and sat her down next to me.

"I mean, he's shouldn't be gone this long!"

I squeezed her fingers gently and then felt a sharp kick against my stomach wall. I jumped slightly, but guided Shannon's fingers over to the bump. She laughed nervously, tracing the foot with her finger as I released them. After a few more minutes she got up and went to talk with Kate, and I turned my attention back on Charlie. I slid down on the ground next to his knees and picked up my guitar Hurley had handed to me earlier. I strummed some of the strings to make sure it sounded right at first, and once assured, I began to play. It was a soft song, something I had made up about a year after Jude had been murdered. I had words to it one of my many notebooks, but this one was special. The thick binding with brown strands that kept it tied together. I set the notebook down in his lap and continued to play. He didn't look at it at first, but then curiosity seemed to take over. He glanced down at the paper, his eyes scanning the notes and the words.

"You wrote this?" His voice was scratchy.

I only nodded as my fingers traveled across the thick strings. But Charlie closed the book and set it back down on my lap. He turned his back on me and within moments he was sound asleep. I sighed deeply and set my guitar to the side, staring down at the buldge in my stomach.

He/She was growing, and I needed to come up with names. Maybe Charlie had some good ones...

**A/N: I'm getting really pissed that I'm not getting any more reviews then two! To the few people who are reviewing, thank you. I sooo much appreciate it. To those who aren't, WTF?!?! You have set my story to your alert list so you know when I update, so why not review?**

**-Jackie-**


	11. Hey Jude

**A/N: Yay! Criticism! ONWARD!**

The next morning I found from Shannon's complaining that the tide was coming in, and we were to move all of the stuff from the beach further up the beach so that way nothing got washed away. I grabbed one of the large pieces of the fuselage and began to drag it behind me, the baby extremely persistent against these hard movements. So to make it worse for me, he/she kicked against my stomach wall as fast and as hard as she/he could. I finally had to stop to bend over and hold my stomach, and actually got a concerned comment.

"Hey, you alright there Moonbeam?" Sawyer inquired, stopping beside me to stare.

I stared blankly back at him. Why should he care? He never gave a damn before. Why should he start now? Still, he wouldn't leave me alone until I gave him the satisfaction of some kind of answer. I nodded and to prove my point, I picked back up the hunk of fuselage I was holding and began to drag it once again.

"You know," He started up again. "You probably shouldn't be doing that."

I rolled my eyes. He wasn't the one who was carrying the baby, so he can just go screw off. Sawyer finally left me alone when I found myself standing in front of Charlie. He had his legs hugged up to his chest, and his face was blank and expressionless. Claire. He just couldn't seem to get his mind off of her no matter how hard he tried. We had to find her soon, or he might just completely lose his mind. He needed something to take his mind away from her, just until we could find her. I dropped one of the ends of the wreckage I had been dragging at his feet and met his eyes as he looked up.

"What, you want me to help?"

I nodded and nuged it with my foot a bit, as if to insist that he help.

"Are you serious?"

I gave him one of those looks that said Do-you-really-think-I'm-joking? He sighed heavily but still stood up, taking the end of the wreckage I was holding and began to move forward with it as I held the back. Claire...where in all honesty could she be? Nobody was really looking for her, except Boone, whom I quite honestly didn't believe was actually looking for her. Boone gets this expression on his face whenever he's lying, Shannon misses it every time, but I learned to notice it whenever I was sure he was lying. This time, once again, he was lying. What could he have discovered out there in the jungle with Locke that was so important that he left me and Shannon in the dark about it? He never hid things from me. Lied, yes. Secrets? No. Out of all the people in the family, he was actually quite honest and open with me. Well, he did have one secret that he was sure I didn't know about. Shannon. Because they weren't actually blood related, I had caught the two of them making out when we were in our hotel in Sydney. Well, I was in the bathroom taking a bath, but I could see the two of them through the keyhole. I had known he was in love with her, but he consistentally and persistentally denied it. Like my heart wasn't broken enough. Now Boone and Shannon had each other, bound together by relationship and love. And me...alone. 

"Amy, you alright?"

Charlie was staring at me concerndly, stopping the motion that we had been in. No, to be quite honest, I wasn't alright. But I wasn't going to let him know that. So I nodded and smiled politely to keep him moving, but he was still rooted to the spot. What did he want now?

"Amy, before I-" He couldn't finish his sentence. "-You know. I heard somebody call my name. Was that you?"

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit! No, it wasn't me. No, it couldn't have been me. I never would have called out to him. That would be stupid. He was dead! How the hell did he hear me, and still remember it? I was shaking my head rapidly without even realizing it, when Charlie held up a hand.

"Alright, alright. Bloody hell, you're going to give yourself a migrane."

We continued to help move the stuff in silence for the remainder of the day, and I found myself settled around a fire with my guitar settled contently across my lap. I was still coming up with some good song lyrics for the baby, in the hopes that once the baby was born, I would find someone to sing it to him/her. Charlie came and sat down beside me a few moments later, his face looking even more distraught then it had originally.He was losing control, and it was only a matter of time before he did something dangerous. He sat down on the ground beside me, his knees spread far enough out so he could still wrap his arms around them. His knuckles were white as he balled his fingers into the tightest possible fist. I felt so sorry for him. For the first time in my life, I actually pitied somebody else. Not that I felt sorry for myself. I just thought that people should suck up their problems and get over them. It can always be worse. I strummed a few strings on my guitar, checking to see if it sounded right. Something told me I was going to need it soon.

"I couldn't...-" Charlie choked out the words, his eyes glassy. "I couldn't help her..."

A single tear rolled out of his eye and down his cheek, leaving a stain in the dirt on his face where it had traveled. Not once had I seen a grown man cry, that was just bizzare. Teenage boy, yes. Adult. No. I set the guitar aside and tried to get Charlie to turn and face me. He buried his face in his arm and a quiet sob past through his lips. Damn him.

"Charlie..."

His name escaped past my lips before I even had a chance to try and stop it or control myself. Six years of silence, shattered. Well...except that one time. That one exception that revolutionized my life. Now, it was time to help somebody else. There was no hiding the shocked expression that came over his face.

"You can talk...?" His voice was barely above a whisper.

"I never said I couldn't." I replied, equally as quiet. "Charlie, nobody blames you. I mean look, I'm alright. And we'll find Claire."

I placed my hand on top of his clenched fist and was surprised to see it uncurl. I squeezed his fingers gently and felt my heart drop into my stomach as tears flooded out of his glassy eyes.

"Help me." He moaned miserably.

I held his fingers tightly and he buried his face in my shoulder. I could feel his tears staining through my shirt, and it was extremely awkward. But I still put my arms around him and pulled him into a tight embrace. This was the first time in a long time I had felt something like this, felt like I had actually been able to help somebody. Charlie...

_Flashback_

It was probably one of the shittiest days of the season, rain pouring down heavily on the outside blacktop. Shannon had gone out with some friends, and that woman I considered to be my mother was out. I was streched out across the couch, my CD player blasting Show Me the Meaning by Backstreet Boys as loudly as it possibly could go. I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes and faced the ceiling, hoping that with my eyes closed I wouldn't see Jude's face lingering above mine. I could just trace the perfection of his twelve year old face and the shaggy blonde hair that always hung in his face. And those eyes, those goregous blue eyes that made my heart melt. Damn him and his perfection. Damn him. It had been five years since his death, and I could still see his face as vividly as if he was standing directly in front of me. There was a sudden loud pounding on my front door, rapidly and roughly. I turned to the door, but felt no need to go and answer it. The pounding continued, as if the person knocking was using every ounce of strength to knock. Again I tried to ignore it, the person would go away eventually.

"AMY!" A deep voice bellowed. "AMY OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!"

Even though I had never heard somebody with a voice like that, I could still trace the way it sounded back to...

No way in hell!

"AMY!" The voice shouted again. "AMY I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!"

I instantly leapt from the couch and ran to the door, yanking it open. There in the doorway stood a boy of seventeen years old, sandy hair plastered against his face and forehead by the torrential downpour outside. His plaid shirt was torn open, the sleeves torn off. His jeans hung loosely around his waist, and the abs on his chest rippled and were cut. I felt the breath leave my lips as the boy pushed me aside and slammed the front door shut, bolting the lock behind him. He turned back to face me and grabbed my shoulders, his sky blue eyes boring into mine.

"Hey, hey! Amy! Look at me!" He shouted, shaking my shoulders.

I felt my knees buckle from underneath me and I almost gave way to unconciousness. No no no! This was all wrong! He wasn't supposed to be here! He was DEAD!

"Y-You're d-dead..." I managed, breath barely squeezing past my lips as the words left my mouth.

"Look at me! I'm right here in front of you! I don't have time to explain Amy!"

"You're d-dead Jude..."

Jude shook his head rapidly, looking back at the bolted door.

"I'm here, I can't explain this, but I really am here, and you have to listen to me. I need you to remember these three names, can you remember them for me?"

I managed a nod, even as Jude's muscular arms were supporting me up or else I would be sprawled out on the ground.

"Benjamin Linus, Henry Gale, and Charles Widmore. Can you remember those for me?"

Another nod. He forced a small smile and hugged me tightly.

"I know this is all really strange for you, but I really am here. I'm alive Amy."

"It's not you..."

_There's no where to run, I have no place to go, surrender my heart, body, and soul. How can it be you're asking me to feel, things you never show?_ The Backstreet Boys were describing everything right now.

"Ugh, Amy, what can I do to convince you that I really am here?"

Before I could even offer some kind of response, the front door flew off it's hinges. Three men rushed into the room and Jude whirled around, pushing me behind him.

"Get him!" One of the men screamed.

Each one of the men grabbed one of Jude's arms while his legs kicked out wildly as he was being dragged back out the door, back out of my life.

"NO!" He screamed. "NO! AMY!"

My trance seemed to slowly fade away as I grasped the reality of what was happening.

"JUDE! PLEASE NO!"

He broke free of the two men, ran back at me, grabbed the sides of my face roughly, and pressed his lips hard against mine. I didn't even get a chance to register my surprise or enjoy the kiss before he was pulled back again roughly and I was shoved to the floor. Jude was still kicking crazily as he was being forced out the door, trying to get back at me.

"ANNABELLA JANE CARYLYE!" Jude yelled as he was past the doorway. "I LOVE YOU!"

"NO!" I was sobbing. "PLEASE, JUDE! NO! DON'T LEAVE AGAIN!"

One of the men turned back to face me and leveled a tranquilizier gun to my chest. I tried to dive behind one of the couches, but managed to get stunned anyways.

_There's something missing in my...heart..._

_End Flashback_

Charlie had somehow managed to fall asleep in my arms as was thinking over what had happened. Was he still alive? I didn't know. And the three names, still forcefully stuck in my head. 

Benjamin Linus

Henry Gale

Charles Widmore

**A/N: SEND MORE REVIEWS PLEASE! And yes, I am evil!**

**-Jackie-**


	12. Open Your Ears

**A/N: More reviewsHappy JackieUpdate. Enjoy!**

Claire was gone, Charlie was depressed, nothing much more to explain in that sense. Boone had been frequently disappearing into the woods with Locke, and even though Boone irritated the shit out of me with his constant persistence to get me to speak up, this was probably pissing me off more. Where the hell was he going all that time with the world's most secretive bounty hunter? And then there was Shannon, who had lately been hanging around with Sayid a lot lately. It was as if they had forgotten I had completely existed. After Claire had been missing for about a week, Boone had been missing for an equal amount of time. Or rather, it was almost like he was missing. He was gone all morning and came back in the wee hours of the night. Finally, I got sick of waiting to find out what he was doing, and I followed him and Locke into the jungle. Charlie told me it was stupid to do at first, but with my persistence, I left anyways. I tried to stay hidden, and on more then one occasion I had completely lost sight of where they had gone. I stumbled around in the baking heat for quite some time before I could hear Boone shouting.

"Help! HELP! Somebody!"

I pushed through the thick branches and found him tied up on a log, a knife at the base of his feet. What the hell?! Was this one of Locke's sick tricks to get my brother eaten by the smoke monster that floated through these woods? Where did he get off?

"Amy! Jesus! How the hell did you find me?!"

I didn't answer. Just because I was talking to Charlie didn't mean I was going to start talking to him. Actually, Boone had been gone too frequently to even notice that I had been talking to Charlie. I was hoping nobody had anyways. Charlie would never say anything, he didn't want attention drawn to either of us. I stepped through the thick weeds and cut Boone loose, watching his eyes wander all over the place the moment he was free.

"You shouldn't be out this far!" He hissed angrily.

Excuse me? What the hell! The only reason I was out this damn far was because he was being so god damn mysterious with his new best friend John bloody Locke! I rolled my eyes and started off in a different direction, seething. Frigging asshole. I saved his life and all he could do was tell me off for following him.

"Amy wait! Hey!" He snapped, grabbing my wrist. "Can't you hear it?? Don't go that way!"

Hear what? It was dead quiet. He looked up again and his eyes went wide.

"SHANNON!" He shouted. "SHANNON I'M COMING!"

Shannon? Again, there was nothing but silence.

"Stay here!" He ordered me before racing off into the jungle.

Nope. He was gonna be an ass, I was going to disobey. I started off into the woods once again, the heat mildly cooled down by the shade of the trees looming above my head provided. As I walked, I could only keep my mind circled around how much Boone was pissing me off. Why did he have to act like this? Ever since Jude died...or he _thought_ Jude had died, he had become this overprotective asshole freak of a brother. Shannon, of course, had become less and less helpful as she realized how big of a bitch my mother was. My mother. Did she even deserve that title? Weren't mothers the kind of people who would give an arm or a leg to take care of you? Mine wouldn't even lift a finger. Jude's mother absolutely adored me up until the time the cancer got the best of her. Then his father became an alcoholic freak that was constantly beating on Jude and his two sisters. Boone. I loved him so very much, and ever since the incident, he's just been making me hate him. Yes, I was ashamed to say it, but I was starting to hate my own brother. I hate him for making me think I hate him.

"Amy!" Charlie's voice startled me.

But then, it wasn't Charlie. I had been accustomed to just his voice so much that I heard it everywhere I went. Sayid stood up from his poistion on the ground and pulled me gently to the side.

"You shouldn't be wandering through the woods alone, not after-" He stopped.

No after what happened. Yes, it was all the same. Sayid sat me down though and handed me a bottle of water. I took it from his fingers slowly, as if to reluctant to drink it. I had seen what he did to Sawyer, I wasn't very trusting at this point in time.

"I haven't poisioned it." He said without looking up from his work.

Slowly I tipped the container back to my lips and allowed a small amount of it to travel down my throat. I thrust the bottle back at him and started forward through the jungle once again. But Sayid still had his hand clenched around my upper arm, as if to keep me in once place forever.

"Here, let me walk you back."

I pulled my arm free and pushed his hand away, glaring. I didn't need his help, I didn't need anybody's help. I was perfectly fine on my own. I had to learn how to be that way. If I couldn't help myself, then I would surely be dead. I started through the woods again, and Sayid followed close behind me. I tried to lose him several times, but he continued to find me again before I finally whirled around to face him. What was with his facisination with my family? Shannon, me, next thing you know he'll be telling off Boone. Actually, come to think of it, he had earlier this morning. Or rather, Boone had told him off for hanging around with Shannon too much. They had become rather "chummy" lately. It was kind of irritating actually.

"Look, all I'm trying to do is walk you back. It's not safe to be walking through here after what happened to Claire. Now please-"

He gestured ahead of him with an open arm, as if to be polite and let me walk first. I rolled my eyes but continued to walk anyways. Sayid was quiet for a little while, but like Charlie, he seemed to have this facisnation with trying to get me to open up to him.

"So Shannon says you haven't spoken a word in six years. Why is that?"

Jesus. Shannon couldn't keep her big mouth shut for anything could she? I bet she couldn't go one full day without saying a word.

"Oh that's right," He began. "You only talk to Charlie."

I stopped. I felt the blood drain from my face and my fingers clench tightly together into a fist. I quickened my pace and made it back to the beach in a matter of seconds. But I was out of breath so easily nowadays that I actually had to bend over and try to get in some breath.

"You alright there Moonbeam?" Came Sawyer's redneck voice as he strolled in front of me.

I was still trying to gather my breath, so I didn't have the energy to look up and glare at him.

"Oy," That was Charlie. "What are you doing?"

"I was just checking up on the kid. Calm down Frodo."

Charlie gently took my hand and pulled me away when I had caught my breath. I spent the rest of the day doing absolutely nothing but eating mangoes before heading to the caves for the evening. Boone came back late and then proceeded to go out again with Locke, who had left him tied up in the woods earlier that day. Why the hell would he go back out strolling through the jungle again with that guy? That was Boone for you. Shannon was walking and talking with Sayid while everybody else got settled in for the night. Charlie handed me my guitar almost expectantly.

"I don't really feel like playing tonight..." I said quietly, handing it back.

"Really? That's odd. You always want to play."

Listen to him, he sounds like a parent, or a brother or something. He didn't know me. Just because I gave him the satisfaction of hearing me speak didn't mean he knew when to listen.

_Flashback_

Boone was shaking me roughly in an attempt to help me regain conciousness. Everything was a blur. His face, the house, Shannon's panicked expression, Sabrina dialing for the police. The police, what the hell were they going to do? The police couldn't do anything.

"Amy, Amy what the hell happened here?" Boone demanded, helping me sit up.

I pressed the heel of my hand to my forehead in a desperate attempt to get the throbbing to stop. Jude had been here. He really was here. I would find him, no matter what. My hands were shaking like mad, and I found it hard to breathe. Jude...I'm so sorry.

"Amy, this is really important time. You really need to say something."

I pushed Boone's hands away and struggled to my feet, gripping the couch for support. With that I turned and started up the stairs to my bedroom, closing the door quietly and sinking onto my bed. He was going to be pissed, I knew it, but he would have to get over it.

Do I have to scream for you to hear me?

_End Flashback_

Boone...if only he understood, if he only TRIED to understand. Jude was still alive...somewhere.

"Amy, everything ok?" Charlie asked me.

"Jude..." I sighed, placing a hand on my abdomen.

"You...want to name the baby Jude?"

See what I mean? What's the point of saying anything, if nobody was going to listen?

**A/N: Sorry this chapter kinda sucked, I promise the next one will be better. And if the flashback didn't make sense to you, I promise it will later on.**

**Peace,**

**-Jackie-**


	13. Homecoming

**A/N: Here's another update! It may be the only one for a little while, hence why I posted it so quickly. School is starting again for me, so I may have trouble updating as frequently as I would like. So send in your reviews and I'll try to update as soon as I can. Happy reading!**

It wasn't until a few days later that Claire was finally found. Boone and Locke had been adventuring through the woods like usual, and they had stumbled upon her, or rather she had to them. But, something had wiped her memory clean. She couldn't remember any of us, or anything that had happened to her. After we had managed to calm her down, Charlie sat beside her and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. I wandered away from the caves and sat around in the forest, thinking, pondering, wandering. That could have been me as well. I could have turned out just how Claire is now, but Charlie saved my life.

Hmm...funny how things turn out. But this wasn't going to end extremely well for me. Just because I avoided certain disaster once didn't mean I would avoid it again. I rubbed my stomach once again and then heard a loud meowing noise. I turned and caught sight of a wall ball of fur walk past me. Ginny. Hadn't seen her in awhile. A day or two before the issue with Ethan I had seen her wandering around the caves. She had become very self reliant nowadays, but the older African American woman Rose had become quite attatched to her. I had often seen her cradling her and petting her and brushing her. More rustling, and yet I didn't feel afraid. Sayid stepped through the thick grass and stopped in front me.

"Shannon's been looking for you." He said, looking down at me.

Bullshit. Shannon never looked for me. Unless she wanted something, then she would come looking for me. But I guess with Sayid around he could do her bidding for her. Sayid sat down on the ground next to me, and I moved over to the side slightly to give him some room.

"You know, it really isn't safe for you to be out here in the dark. Just look at what happened to Claire."

I wasn't afraid. Whatever happened, happened. As long as it didn't affect anybody I loved, then I really didn't care too much. I didn't care what happened to me, but in retrospect I should. Because the baby growing inside of me, was a part of me. And if I died, so did the baby. I grabbed one of the branches above my head and pulled myself up to my feet. Sayid followed me back to the caves and I settled down beside Claire. She rocked back and forth just slightly as Charlie tried talking to her. I streched out across the log and drifted slowly into sleep.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Charlie shook me awake the next morning, telling me we needed to go get some fruit for Claire.

"Isn't there plenty of fruit in the cooler?" I asked quietly, rolling back over on my side to try to go back to sleep.

"Yeah, but I want to get it fresh for her. Now come help me."

"You never get _me_ fresh fruit." I complained, half jokingly. "And I'm seven months pregnant, cut me some slack."

"Just come ON."

I rolled my eyes and took his hand, following him into the jungle as he gabbed on and on about how he was going to help Claire try to remember everything that had happened to her. Of course, he never knew when to shut up. But, seeing as he was pleased that Claire was back and alive, I didn't feel like ruining his parade. So I listened in silence to his constant talking while he picked fruit from the trees. He handed me a large, juicy mangoe at one point and I stared blankly at it.

"What? Don't like these or something?"

I held a finger to my lips to quiet him down. Behind some of the trees in the clearing, I could hear a quiet wooshing noise, like something being spun around. The noise continued to get increasinly louder with each couple of passing seconds until finally something went zooming over my head and smashed up against one of the trees behind Charlie. Ethan stepped out from behind one of the trees, his face beaten, cut, and bruised. He glared at Charlie, who upon seeing Ethan, grabbed my wrist and pulled me behind him. Ethan's eyes flashed to me and twisted into a vicious smile. My heart slammed into my rib cage as Charlie tried to take small steps back. I fingered the pocket knife that was still in my back pocket. When we were completely backed up, I slipped the knife to Charlie's streched out fingers and watched them close around it.

"I want her back Charlie," Ethan hissed as he stood about an inch away from Charlie's face. "I want you to bring her back to me. And I want her too."

"Well I'm sorry, but you can't have either of them." Charlie said calmly, swallowing hard.

"If you don't bring her back to me, I'll kill somebody. And if you still don't, I'll kill another, and another, and another, one every day."

He grabbed Charlie by the throat, pinned him up against the tree, and stole the knife from his hand and held it against his throat to. I screamed and jumped out from behind Charlie, tackling Ethan to the ground. But it was like slamming into a giant boulder, and I immidietaly rolled off and whimpered in the pain in my shoulder. I punched any part of his face that I could get to. He pinned me to the ground by my neck before Charlie rammed him off me. There were loud scuffling noises before I could even get up, and then a bloodcurdling scream of pain. I turned and saw Charlie stagger to his feet, the knife protruding from his shoulder. Blood dripped all over his fingers and down his shirt as he gasped in pain.

"Charlie!" I screamed.

Then, darkness.

_Flashback_

I had been told by Boone when Jude's funeral was scheduled, but I was still supposed to be in the hospital. His own father hadn't even paid for it, Shannon's dad had. But they were unable to keep the body just sitting and rotting away, the funeral had to be done as soon as possible. So I was sitting alone in my hospital bedroom, the TV lights illuminating the dark room. Four blocks away, Jude's wake was occuring, without me. I couldn't be there. Tears stained my cheeks. No, I would not sit here without saying goodbye to him. I couldn't. I was on the first floor of the hospital, sure it was dark, but it was warm, and it was only four blocks away. I ripped the IV out of my arm and all of the other tubes that kept me connected to the monitors in the room. I slowly and awkwardly made my way out of the bed and toward the window, pulling it open. Once my feet hit the cold grass and I was able to inhale all that fresh open air, my heart rate slowed.

I started walking at first, but as I walked, all I could hear was Jude's voice, following close behind me. He was calling my name over and over again, _Amy...Amy...Amy..._ I put my hands over my ears in a desperate attempt to block out the sound, but it kept coming, louder and louder with each second. I quickened my pace, trying to move as fast as I could to escape the sound. The faster I moved, the softer the sound became. Soon I could barely hear his voice at all, and the funeral home came into view. I stopped at the door to catch my breath, my chest practically caving in from the lack of shape I was in, oh, and for also getting shot. Duh. I pulled open the door quietly, but every head seemed to turn and stare directly at me as I entered the room. The man at the stand talking stopped and watched as I slowly made my way forward. Boone leapt from his seat, grabbing my shoulders.

"Amy! What the hell are you doing here? You're in nothing but a hospital gown and you're wound has reopened!"

I pushed Boone's hands away carefully and continued to walk toward the closed casket. People were murmuring and whispering as I finally made it to the casket, my hand laying gently down on the polished oak wood. I'm so sorry Jude...we shouldn't have been in that ally in the first place, or this never would have happened. If I could take it back I certainly would have...please...I never thought you would go away so soon. I could feel him inside of there, and I could feel his presence behind me. The man at the podium stepped aside and I slowly made my way up, the eyes of the world upon me. I felt the tears building up in the back of my eyes, but I completely ignored them.

"Umm...hi..." I began, breathing heavily. "Umm, well, I've just come from the hospital as you can, probably tell. But...I needed to be here for this. For Jude. He...He was my best friend. _Is_ my best friend. And...this never would have happened, if I hadn't suggested we take the short way back to my house."

I paused to wipe one of the tears from my cheek and to swallow the remainder of my pride.

"But the night before, he told me something, something that I can't repeat, and something that I will never be able to explain, or understand myself. And to all of the people here, who have _truly_ be affected by his death, I am so sorry. I could never in a million years imagine that something like this would happen. I'm going to miss him...so very...very much."

I had to stop again, because at this point I was sobbing, trying to repeatedly regain my composure, only to fail three more times before I managed to face the crowd of people once again.

"And I know, that there are other people here...who think that they'll miss him...but you'll forget about him...you'll be able to move on with your lives. But me," I pointed to the blood staining the gown I was wearing. "I will have this constant rememberance of him in my mind, and in me personally. Jude was this whole...part of me that I can't explain in words...I...I..."

My head felt extremely light and I could no longer form words. The last thing I remember was Boone running towards me, catching me before I hit the floor.

_End Flashback_

Charlie, Jesus was Charlie alright? In this entire blackness, only my thoughts seemed to remain in tact. The rough arms that had been practically crushing me earlier were now gone, and I was laying flat against something soft. They had done something to Claire, possibly given her some drugs to make her forget everything that had happened on this island. If that was the case, I couldn't drink anything that they had given me. I still had the mangoe from Charlie (hopefully) in my back pocket. When my head stopped spinning around in circles, I rubbed my temple and opened my eyes. I was in some kind of nursery, a light blue room with a baby cradle and a crib. The door opened slowly and a man stepped in, a clearly fake beard attatched to his chin. I sat up carefully and pressed the heel of my hand to my forehead.

"Yeah, I'd imagine you'd have a headache. But don't worry, that'll go away soon. I promise. I'm Tom."

I didn't reply.

"Ah that's right. Ethan said you didn't talk much. Here," He handed me a bottle of water. "Drink some of this."

I titled the bottle back into my mouth, but did not swallow. Instead I spit it back into the bottle before handing it back. He noticed, but said nothing about it.

"Unless you start cooperating, this isn't going to be easy for you."

Silence. Tom raised his hand and set it down on my abdomen. The baby refused to move.

"Yes...we've got much to do with you."

**A/N: Send more reviews please!**

**-Jackie-**


	14. Running

**A/N: I warned you that it would be awhile before I was able to update. I've been super busy, well...whatever. Here's more!**

Tom had left me alone in the room, a tray of food had been brought in about two hours after his departure, but I didn't touch it. It was most likely drugged, so consuming it would make me turn out just like Claire. Although, I didn't blame her. She had been knocked out pretty bad. How long had it been since they had brought me down here? It seemed like it could have only been two hours, but that's not taking into consideration how long I had been knocked out. Charlie...was he alright? That knife had gone right through his shoulder.

God damn you Ethan, frigging asshole. In the corner of the room there was a cradle, with little Oceanic airplanes, as if these people had known that our plane was going to crash on the island. I stared over at the door again, bitterly. Bastards had locked it from the outside. Sure, picking the lock had seemed like a good idea, but they had jammed it, so that was failed as well. Boone and Shannon, I wonder how they were taking this. Was anyone even looking for me? Or did they really not even bother. "Oh, she'll turn up eventually." Uh-huh, riiight. The door handle jiggled slightly, and then it was pushed open. Tom stepped into the room, nearly tripping over the tray on the floor. He looked down at it, back up at me, and sighed.

"Now how long are you planning on being on this hunger strike?"

As long as they planned on keeping me locked up like a prisoner. But that was just it wasn't it? I was their prisoner. The baby kicked at my stomach wall angrily, demanding to be given the foods that I was craving. I shifted uncomfortably on the bed and glared over at Tom. He opened his mouth to say something when there was a terrible ruckus from out in the hall. He spun around and blocked the hallway from my view, but I could still see the blood the splattered on the ground.

"What the hell is going on?" Tom demanded.

Somebody stopped running to reply, and the only word I could catch was "Ethan".

Had Ethan been killed? And if so, by who? How? So many questions, and no one to answer them.

"How the hell did he managed to get shot by that little rockstar bastard?" Tom hissed before slamming the door shut behind him.

Charlie? My Charlie? Charlie had shot Ethan, and from the looks of it, more than once. Why would he do that? That wasn't in any way going to help them find me. Or, maybe they didn't want to find me. This could all be a whole conspiracy deal, but that was about 100 unlikely. I wanted my guitar, I wanted my brother, hell, I even wanted Shannon at this point. In this place, I felt so alone. There was nobody familar around, what was I to do? I rubbed my buldging stomach thoughtfully. I certainly wasn't going to have it here. I may not want to have the baby on the beach, but I sure as hell wasn't going to have it in the hands of these..._others_.

I mean, who were these people? Certainly not good if they hung people from trees as means of getting rid of "waste" as Tom had put it. Stupid git. I turned to the side and laid down on the soft pillow, the bed feeling wonderful under the pain my back had endured from sleeping on the ground. I still couldn't shake the feeling out of my head that nobody was really looking for me though, I mean, why would they. One less person to worry about then, right? The shouting still continued out from the hall. Funny. They were making a big fuss over somebody who was already dead. Somebody like me. I was already dead inside, at least, without Jude. The door nudged open again, and a teenage girl stepped into the room, tray in hand, closing the door quietly behind her. I sat up in bed and prepared for her screams.

"Hey," She said quickly and quietly. "Don't eat any of that shit they bring you, it's all drugged."

Thanks Captain Obvious, but why was she telling me this? She set down the tray of food next to my bed.

"I know you won't believe me, but my food isn't drugged." As if to prove her point she cut a portion out of the fruit she brought in and popped it into her mouth, chewing and swallowing before she continued.

"I'll bring you some every night. And then, I'll try to help you out of here."

She pushed the tray toward me a little bit more, and I bet her soft blue eyes. She looked different, she just didn't seem like she was one of them. Slowly and carefuly, I reached down to the fruit she had brought and bit into it. It tasted exactly the same, the savory flavor tracing my tounge. I sighed contently and the girl stood up. She hit the light switch and bid me a silent goodnight with a nod of her head. The instant the door shut I leapt off the bed ( a little too quickly I might add) and once I regained my composure I grasped the doorknob. It was open! I pulled open the door quietly, peering in each direction at the currently empty hallway. Slowly and quietly I crept out of the room, shutting the door behind me. The things I had attempted to knit earlier were shoved in my back pocket, so I had everything I needed before heading off.

I tiptoed as best as I could for a few moments, before giving that up and running as fast as my pregnant legs would carry me. I made it past the different corridors and up to the stairs before gunshots ricocheted over my head. There were two solid, heavy doors with a turn lock that prevented me from exiting. I gripped the lock and turned it before throwing my body weight at the doors. The right one flew open and heavy rain greeted me the moment it did. I continued to run as fast I could possibly go, deep into the forest where I would be safer from the bullets that continued to whizz over my head. I was making great progress until I tripped over a tree stump. Landing flat on my belly, the baby kicked hard angrily again as if to help me get back up with each kick. I pressed up hard with my hands and tried to start up again but a bullet caught me in the back of my leg. I bit my lower lip as hard as I humanly could to keep from screaming and giving away my position. All the feeling seemed to evaporate from my leg as the paralysis began to take over.

"She couldn't have gotten far!" A woman's voice hissed. "She's pregnant for god's sake!"

I scooted backwards on my butt until I was hidden in some bushes, paralysis continuing to spread through my legs, no feeling left in the lower half of my body.

"This is your fault!" The woman continued, jabbing Tom with a sharp nail. "You should have been watching her!"

"What was I supposed to do! A day after Ethan gets shot and they bring his mutilated body in here! He was one of the best we had!"

"Well when _he_ finds out, it'll be _your_ head!"

The woman tossed one of her guns down on the ground and spat upon it.

"What's the point of carrying _this_ stupid flare gun around if we're not going to find her Tom?!"

With that she turned on her heel and stormed off back toward the hatch I had come out of. Tom ran a hand through his graying hair and cast a look down at the bushes I was hiding in. Then, he started and followed after the woman. I sighed with relief and lay flat on my back, trying to catch my breath. But now, here I was sitting out in the middle of the jungle, paralyzed from the waist down for god knows how long. I couldn't just sit out here, I had to do something to try and get back to camp. But I didn't even know where the hell that was. Suddenly, an idea struck me.

The flare gun.

If I could somehow manage to drag myself further away from this station, then I would have a better chance of having somebody from the beach seeing it and coming after me. I grabbed the flare gun and reached for the branch above my head. It was thick and somewhat sturdy, so I was able to support myself up using it. I managed to get a mile or two away from the cell from hell before I came upon a giant clearing.

I knew it wasn't safe for me to be sleeping or staying, but it would have to do. I pulled myself near some bushes once again to try and help get out of the rain. I laid back against the ground and turned the flare gun over in my hand. It wasn't smart to launch it now, at night, in the rain, when nobody would see it, and the only person who could see it would be one of the Others. So I curled up into a tight ball for the night, praying that I would make it to see the next morning.

--

The bright sun beating down on my face was like the morning alarm clock. But I was so stiff and sore and frozen that I could barely move. The flare gun was still clutched closely to my sore chest, but my legs suddenly felt movable again. I tried sitting up when pain shot up and down my back, preventing movement in any way. I laid back down gently and aimed the gun up in the sky before pulling the trigger. The flare whistled up high in the sky before bursting into a bright red colour that reflected nicely against the blue and white sky. I tossed the gun to the side and pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes.

Now, we wait and see.

**A/N: Yeah, that's it for now. Sorry. Peace out.**

**-Jackie-**


	15. You're My Wonderwall

**A/N: So I didn't get a lot of reviews, but I'm not gonna throw a big hissy fit about it. Too tired for that anyways, so I'll take it all out on my character! MWHAHAHAHAHA!**

It had been at least three hours since I had sent the flare up in the air, and I was still laying flat on my back in the middle of god knows where. My back felt like it had been just loaded with needles, my bare feet frozen and sore, just basically my whole body was searing with the utmost pain. It didn't help to have the baby kick at my stomach wall, demanding me to subcumb to it's wants. I couldn't just sit here for much longer, I was going to become all locked up and then I wouldn't be able to move at all. Three hours, three long bloody hours and still no one had come to rescue me. Well...if they were going to make me wait this long, then I would just have to try and get back myself. Picking up the flare gun and shoving it into the back of my pants, I pushed as hard as I possibly could and managed to get on my feet, wobbling slightly, but then retaining balance. I started across the giant open field slowly, my legs screaming in the immense pain I pushed them to endure. Yes, yes, I know! I'm pregnant and I've been curled up in a ball in the cold rain all night.

When I got halfway across the field my knees gave out and I collapsed on the ground, groaning as the wind was knocked out of me. I got back up so I was laying on my legs, then pushed up with my hands once again. I was NOT going to wait around for somebody to come and save me. I was NOT going to sit here like a pathetic little child for somebody to come and rescue me. I could make it on my own damn way, the flare was just so if somebody nearby could lend me a hand. If it was going to take them longer then three hours to reach me, then hell no I wasn't waiting. I started out toward the jungle again, and this time managed to grab hold of some of the branches and pull myself out of the giant field of doom before I fell down once more.

My knees protested as I grabbed the branches above my head to get up _again_, and therefore caused me as much pain as they could while I rose slowly to my feet. I continued to walk through the jungle, grabbing the branches to keep myself suspended upwards. The baby probably couldn't take any more pressure forced against it. My thoughts drifted as I fought to focus on my destination primarily, but I could not stop them from wondering back to the one place I really had hoped they wouldn't go. My mother. That bitch. That stupid, ugly, rich, stuck up, whore. Why couldn't she have just gone and gotten stranded on some stupid island somewhere? She didn't even care when she discovered I was pregnant, she didn't have anything to say, she didn't care.

_Flashback_

I had bought another three pregnancy tests after the first one before I was one hundred percent convinced that I was pregnant. After reading the screen the haunted me, I shoved them deep into the garbage. The door to my bedroom suddenly flew open and my mother stepped in, fury etching her expression. I hid the papers behind my back a split second too late, and she grabbed them from me.

"A pregnancy test Annabella? A pregnancy test?!"

She shook her head violently then grabbed me roughly by the wrist, dragging me off the bed and out my bedroom door. I pulled back hard and nearly sent her crashing to the floor. She released me wrist before slapping me hard across the face.

"You're pregnant Annabella! Do you have any idea what this will do to my business if people know that I'm an irresponsible mother?! Let's go," She grabbed my arm this time. "We're going to an abortionist."

WHAT?! NO! This time I did send her tumbling to the floor in her stupid Stelleto heels as I jerked my wrist free. No! I was NOT killing my baby! I don't care if that bastard got me pregnant, this baby was going to grow up and I was going to love it and cherish it unlike it's git of a father.

"You can NOT walk around pregnant!"

Watch me. I ran back into my bedroom and slammed my door shut, cramming some things into a bag, and within the hour I was ready to leave this god-for-saken home for good. I'm sure I could go and stay with Boone in New York, and I had enough money from all the jobs I worked to afford air faire there and even some leftover for food. I picked up my phone to send him a message to meet me at the airport, when there was a soft knock on my door.

The person behind it did not open it until almost a minute later, Shannon's pink nightgown visible before her face as she turned and closed the door behind her. Her face was red and her eyes were blotchy, tears stained with dried up tears that the fresh one's traced as they rolled down her cheeks. She avoided my gaze for a moment before running her eyes up to meet mine.

"I heard...w-what Sabrina said...you being pregnant and all." She began, biting back sobs. "And I j-just knew that...when she wanted to take you to an...abortionist...you would want to leave."

A quiet sob escaped past her lips, and she turned to look at the floor for a moment before she wiped her eyes with her sleeves and continued what she had begun to say.

"B-but I really...wish you wouldn't go. I can't...I can't be left alone here with her. I may...just be visiting...but I really wish...you would stay with me. Please..."

She was just standing there at the door, not looking at me any further, her cheeks plastered with tears...for me. Not for herself like usual. This was one of the few times that she had shown she needed somebody else. Especially me. Sighing, I let the bag slide slowly from my shoulder, and it hit the ground loud enough for her to look up.

"Thank you." She replied, meeting me in the eyes again.

I turned and laid down on my bed while she continued to stand there at the door, just holding her left arm with her right. I waited for her to look up again before I patted the other end of my bed. She slowly walked over and laid down beside me, soon falling asleep with her head on my arm.

_End Flashback_

My own mother had made my life as miserable as she possibly could. That's why I've always believed she paid those men off to kill me and Jude. Just the way the man had spoken, and the way my mother despised me, those men shooting us was no coincidence. That bitch. My own mother had somebody hired to kill me. Can you believe it? I stopped for a moment to try and see how far I had actually gone, and I was deep within in the woods. Breathing in deeply, I tried to catch my breath. It couldn't be any damn hotter out, even in the bloody jungle of death. Still I pushed myself further onward until it was around dusk.

I hadn't seen any sign of the camp, and to be quite honest, I didn't even know if I was going in the right direction. For all I knew, I could be heading to the complete opposite direction of the island. But I had to remain optomistic for once in my life if I was going to get out of here. I sat down on the ground and pulled my legs up to my chest before taking the flare gun out of the back of my pants. Two more flares left still inside of it. I would only use them in the utmost importance. A sudden cracking noise caught my attention, startling me. I spun in the direction and held the flare gun out threateningly, I knew it was useless, but maybe the other person wouldn't. Three Others stepped out from behind some trees, seemingly to be unarmed. I struggled to my feet and held the branch above me, switching the gun from the first man, to the second man, to the woman on the far right.

"Now, now Annabella Jane," Tom's voice said calmly, him being the man on the far left. "Why don't you put that gun down and come with me?"

My hand shook and trembled on the trigger. It may be a flare gun, but it could sure as hell do some damage from this close range.

"Forget it Tom." The woman hissed, sending chills up my spine like Madame Defarge from _A Tale of Two Cities_. "Just grab her you little brat!"

The woman forced the man in the middle towards me, his face hidden in the shelter of the dark jungle. I continued to hold the gun, my hands shaking to the point that I couldn't even keep the barrel of the gun pointed in one section. I needed help now, and I knew it. I quickly pointed the gun to the sky and launched a flare, now I was down to one. Please somebody help me! The man stepped closer, grabbing my wrists roughly and pulling the flare gun out of my hands. His hands were rough as they bound my together tightly, his head turned and hidden by pure darkness so that I could not recognize the face upon it. I felt tears roll down my cheeks...help...please...please...

The man turned back to me, and there was a small beam of what was left of the daylight that broke through the tree branches. I could see his eyes, those goregous ocean eyes I had recognized from such a long time ago it seemed. My knees fell from underneath me for the third or fourth time today, I had lost track. But the man's hands supported me up, calmly, easily.

"Hey, Amy, easy, take it easy..." His voice was soft and also sharp at the same time.

His name formed on my lips, but then, suddenly, there were bullets whizzing overhead. My head snapped to the side where Sawyer was standing, gun in hand, firing off rounds like a crazy person...or rather...like an expert. Tom and the woman fled while the man who had been tying me up fell backwards as he tried to run as well. Sawyer reloaded the gun and took aim. But in the time it had taken him to reload, the man had vanished. My heart was hammering against my chest, Sawyer still holding out the smoking gun in the direction the three Others had fled in. Finally he shoved the gun into his back pocket and bent down on the ground in front of me, untying my hands before helping me to my feet by seizing hold of my upper arm. My breathing was heavy, as if I couldn't get enough of it into my lungs.

"Hey there Mamacita," Sawyer flipped his hair out of his face as he breathed heavily as well. "Hadn't been for your little stunt with the flare, I wouldn't have found ya."

I was still trying to grasp hold of what had just happened before I could even begin to focus on what Sawyer was saying.

"Hey," He tapped the side of my face gently. "We've been on a crazy searching frenzy for you, the least you can do is say thanks."

I met his eyes and my breath seemed to leave me. My legs gave out for the final time that day and everything around me went dark.

_Who's eyes were those...they couldn't possible be his could they? That would be just too weird, too situational, too impossible seemed more like it. There was no way that he was here, he just couldn't be. He would never work for people like that, he would have never been able to get here. These Others were here before us...he never would have...not him..._

I don't know how long I was out cold, but this time when I opened my eyes, I wasn't staring at some random indoor place. I was staring up into Boone's electric blue eyes, that were just about an inch from my face. The moment he saw my eyes open, he pulled me up and hugged me as tightly as he possibly could.

"Oh Amy! You've had me and Shannon so worried! You have no idea how badly we've panicked and...-"

"Amy?"

I stared up at Charlie, bandages around his shoulder, uneven breathing, but otherwise alive. But Charlie didn't have a second to say a word, for Jack walked in at that moment.

"Hey Amy, how you feeling?" He asked, crouching down in front of me.

I nodded to prove to him that I was alright.

"Hey Boone, I know you missed her, but you gotta let me give her a full examination."

Boone muttered a curse about me being his responsibility before he released me and stepped to the side. Jack examined every inch of my body, checking for anything that could lead to a harmful action to the baby or to myself at all. Lastly he checked the baby, feeling around for any movement or things like that.

"Everything seems alright, your feet and legs are pretty banged up, but other then that, it looks like you'll be ok."

Jack pulled back away and wrapped some bandages around one of my legs that had gotten bloody and bruised on my way back. Charlie sat down beside me while Boone stormed off with Johnny Locke again, who didn't even bother to ask if I was alright. I mean, I didn't need his sentiment, but I mean it's still polite. Git. Jack finished his doctoring and handed me a bottle of antibiotics.

"You're going to need these. Just stay off your feet for a few days, and wear a pair of shoes."

Psh, shoes. After he left several other people came to check and see if I was alright, while all the while Charlie sat there patiently for this turn to say what was on his mind. Finally everybody had gotten settled for the night, and there was a small pile of fruit at the base of my bed area. I had even been brought a comforter to sleep on, but as I noted, so did Claire. I turned to Charlie expectantly, but he didn't have any words to form. I took his fingers in my bruised ones and squeezed them gently.

"It's alright." I murmured quietly. "It's not your fault."

Tears welled up in his eyes, but he had nothing to say at all. Sawyer came through the cave doors, arms full of random items that he, being the island pack rat, he probably taken from other people. He set a few of them down at the base of my bed, and then avoided my gaze.

"You alright there Moonbeam?"

I nodded and even gave him a smile as my way of thanks for what he had done for me.

"Well, just hollar if you need anything."

Charlie picked up my guitar and strung it over his shoulders, tuning it just right for the song he was about to play.

I laid my head down against the pillow I was given and fell asleep to Charlie's soft voice saying;

"And after all...you're my wonderwall..."

**A/N: 10:17 at night, very tired. Night!**

**-Jackie Onassis-**


	16. Bye Bye Boone

**A/N: I know, I know, I'm a bad person for not updating for so long and leaving you all hanging. Sue me (not really). So, here's my update!**

The following morning I got up rather early then I normally would, the sun wasn't even completely up yet. I had been awoken by the sound of Locke's voice while he spoke to Boone who was close beside me. I pretended to be asleep while I listened to them get up and start getting ready to leave. That was it. This was pissing me off to no end. What the hell could possibly be out there in the jungle that was so god damn fascinating? So, the moment I was sure they were leaving the caves, I sat up, actually pulled on a pair of shoes, grabbed a ponytail holder and a backpack before following them out of the caves. As I walked quietly, I attempted to braid the tangly mass of hair that I finally allowed out of the hat. Even the fingerless gloves that I usually wore had been removed, along with the black vest. Instead, I was wearing a long pull over t-shirt (which managed to strech over my pregnant belly quite nicely) and a pair of jeans. I had pulled on a sweater just in case, but I didn't think I would need it. I had never really learned to braid, but Shannon had recently taught me before we crashed on the island.

Once I was satisified with the length of the braid, I tied it off with the ponytail. The sun began to rise slowly after a few hours, and Boone and Locke were within close sight. I was surprised the Great White Hunter hadn't spotted me yet, but I guess he was too preoccupied with where ever the hell he was going to notice. So far I had seen absolutely nothing that would be of the utmost fascination to them, in fact, I was almost on the verge of just turning around and heading back to the caves. But suddenly Locke and Boone stopped, Locke handing him a rosemary off of one of the branches. Boone spoke quietly and Locke took a step forward, grabbing one of the branches in front of him. The instant he tugged, a destroyed, rotted body tumbled out of the branches and smashed against the ground. Despite myself, I screamed in fright. Boone and Locke both whirled around, Locke's eyes widening in surprise...and quite possibly fury. Boone looked positively angry as well, his eyes glaring.

"Amy! What the HELL are you doing out here?" He demanded, taking a step towards me.

I stared wide eyed, a hand over my mouth in surprise.

"Oh don't give me that!" He shouted. "You've been hanging around with that washed up rockstar, but you're not willing to talk to me? Damn it Amy! Jack said to stay OFF your feet, not go trapsizing through the woods! Your baby is due really soon-"

"That's enough Boone." Locke cut him off with a wave of his hand.

He approached me slowly, as though I held a knife in front of me as if I would kill him. He stopped about half an inch in front of me, staring.

"Do you want to see what we've been looking at?"

I said nothing, but could only nod my head. He was talking to me like I was three years old, but I didn't mind...just for now.

"Well we have to take a small detour first, but I promise I'll show you. Deal?"

I nodded. Locke picked up his backpack and started off again. Boone shot me a warning look before he followed after Locke. I stayed close behind, not saying a word, not even when John fell twice down to the ground. I was too busy thinking...remembering. Bodies like those shouldn't affect me in ways like that, I had grown so used to them...I had seen too many. Hell, I even caused one to come out like that. Oh...right...that.

_Flashback:_

Livid as I was, walking always seemed to have a way to cool me down. Especially in the rain. As I had been in it before, it brought along with it a sense of comfort. Each raindrop seemed to be able to try and get rid of all the pain...it just washed it down the drain. I stopped in front of the ledge around the pond, right at the spot Jude had been shot. This had become a daily ritual for me. I would come here...why I had no idea. It only brought back painful memories that I had tried to repress. I sat down on the ledge, my fingers caressing the spot where Jude's hand had been. Screaming filled my ears, and I squeezed my eyes shut tight, claping my hands over my ears.

"Hey!" A new voice cut in.

I practically jumped from the ledge, backing slowly to the side. The man was there...he was. The one who had shot me and Jude four years ago. He smiled at me, his hair smoothed down from when it had been last time. Every little minor detail I had stored away in my mind, and now, it was being put to use directly before my eyes. His once spiky hair had been smoothed down, the the once studded jacket he had worn was gone, and was just replaced by a normal leather jacket. The big combat boots had transformed into normal gym shoes, and his hands were shoved inside his pockets. He smiled pleasently at me, as if he had never shot my best friend...as if he had never ruined my life.

"You look awfully familar."

"Familar?" The word tore from my throat before I had a chance to stop it. "Familar is all you have to say to me? How can you not remember the face of the person you tried to kill?!"

I was screaming by now, my voice trying to rise over the loud claps of thunder. The man seemed slightly amsued by my vicious reaction, but continued to step back as I advanced forward.

"You shot me! You frigging shot me in cold blood! I never did anything to you, and neither did he! You killed him!" I choked back a sob as I advanced closer.

I was so livid and tense that I failed to notice that he had managed to move me into the alley.

"You murderer! How do you live with yourself at night?! How can you sleep knowing that you took an innocent child's life away?!"

A sound stopped me from continuing. Laughter. My eyes drilled into the man, as laughed hysterically. He pulled a gun out from his shirt pocket and waved it in front of my face. Then, he tossed the weapon at my feet, still doubling over in laughter.

"Laughing?! You're acutally laughing?!" I screamed.

"You just don't get it do you? Cold blood?! I was _paid_ to shoot you and your friend."

I froze, my fingers balled into tight fists at my sides.

"WHAT?"

But the man was too busy laughing to really give me a straight answer. I grabbed the gun at my feet and held it out threatningly.

"I'll kill you! Tell me who paid you to do this! Who the hell paid you to ruin my life!"

But the man was still laughing, laughing hysterically. His laughter burned, I couldn't see, I couldn't think...I could barely breathe. I was still screaming for all I knew. Then, loud bangs filled my ears, one after the other. My finger continued to click the trigger, but the magazine was empty. I finally opened my eyes, and the screaming instantly ceased.

The man was lying on the wet ground, crimson blood pooling from the bullet holes in his chest. Six to be exact. They had no consistent pattern, spread all over his abdomen. The gun slipped from my fingers as I stared wide-eyed in horror at what I had just done. I dropped down to my knees in the puddle of blood, my hands sinking into the mixture of rain and coppery blood. I came closer to the man's body, my hands locked onto his shirt. I pulled his limp body up to my face.

"Get up!" I cried, my voice vicious.

I couldn't move...at least, not for the moment. I rose shakily to my feet, then darted over to the garbage can and promptly vomited. Instantly after that, I ran. I ran as fast as I could, my feet slamming against the pavement and ringing in my ears. I ran and didn't stop, I even leapt over the nearest entrance gate. I passed by everything that I didn't recognize and finally collapsed in front of the one I did recognize, my knees sinking into the soft ground where the grave had been dug. My bloody fingers traced the name engraved on the tombstone. _Jude Gray._ The blood from my hands smeared across the entire marble grave, tears running down my face.

"'Either thou, or I, or both shalt go with him!'"

_End Flashback_

We had stopped in front of a large airplane perched up in the branches, and Locke, of course, had some sort of defect with his legs and couldn't walk anymore. I stared up at the plane with some curiosity. How did it get there? Of course, Locke's persistence that there was something in the plane is what caused Boone to climb up into the plane. He dropped his bag and streched his arms up behind his head. That plane wasn't safe. Too much added weight and it would fall forward. The moment Boone started walking toward it, I grabbed his wrist.

"It'll be fine Amy." He assured me, pulling his arm free. "Besides, it's not like it matters much to you."

Hurt, I slowly withdrew my arm. Boone slowly made his way up into the plane, carefully climbing and making sure he took his time so as not to slip.

"Boone be careful!" Locke snapped from his position on the ground.

I glared at him for a brief moment before I turned my attention back to Boone climbing into the plane.

"Boone what do you see?!" Locke shouted up to the plane.

"You want to know what's in your damn plane Locke?!" Boone yelled back.

He poked his head out one of the windows and tossed a statue of the Virgin Mary toward the ground. It smashed at Locke's feet, revealing a small stash of herion inside.

"It's herion! That's all that's in here!"

Locke looked up to the sky, as though he wanted to curse it.

"I don't understand!" He yelled. "This was a sign!"

As Boone searched the rest of the plane, I noticed that it began to wobble slightly. Surely he realized that the plane was going to fall at any minute right? He was talking to somebody, possibly somebody who could get us rescued? But he wasn't getting out of the plane.

"Boone!" Locke shouted. "Get out of there! Damn it Boone! Now!"

But he wouldn't budge. The plane was now moving back and forth frightningly.

"BOONE!" I screamed, cupping my hands over my mouth. "GET OUT!"

"AMY?!"

Then, the plane tumbled to the ground. Boone shouted on the entire way down, right up until the point that the plane hit the solid floor. My eyes went wide with horror and I ran (or rather waddled) over to it.

"Boone! Boone!"

Locke was suddenly at my side, going inside the plane and pulling out Boone's bloody and beaten body.

"OH SURE!" I shouted. "NOW YOU CAN WALK!"

"I think I preferred it when you weren't talking."

I followed close behind Locke as we raced back toward the caves, and upon arriving, I was practically in hysterics. Jack immidietaly jumped up and set a place down for Boone to be examined.

"John, for us to be able to treat him, I need you to tell me exactly what happened!"

But when he turned around, Locke had disappeared.

"John...LOCKE!"

Kate dragged me to the side, settling me down on the ground.

"Relax, Amy, breathe. It's ok. Relax."

No, no no no no no! Please! Don't take him away!

**A/N: Alright, I think this is a perfect place to stop. Next update won't take as long, promise.**

**-Jackie-**


	17. Apologies

**A/N: Well, school's finally over, and I lost a lot of reviewers for the last chapter. But I guess that's my fault for not updating as frequently as I should. Anyways, I'll update more frequently now...Amy's drama is only about to get worse.**

Jack was yelling out orders while I sat on the ground, trying desperatly to catch my breath. I could barely get air to my lungs, and my fingers were grasping at the ground underneath me.

"Amy, you need to tell me exactly what happened." Jack stopped for a moment while Kate, Hurley, and Sun were gathering the supplies he needed.

But I couldn't form the words to explain to him what had actually happened. He got down on his knees and his face was barely an inch away from mine. I made no move to push him away, my head spinning and everything he tried to demand of me made absolutely no sense. Then I felt his hands on my shoulders, squeezing as hard as he could and roughly shaking me.

"AMY!" He yelled into my face. "TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED OR I CAN'T HELP HIM!"

"Jack!" Kate pried his fingers loose from my shoulders. "Concentrate on helping Boone and I'll talk to Amy."

"No Kate." Jack stood up and walked toward Boone. "I need you to go and ransack Sawyer's tent, get all the alcohol you can find and bring it back to me."

She nodded and ran off without another moment's hesitation. Sun was helping Jack with all the operational things while Hurley sat down next to me and handed me an airsickness bag.

"Just breathe into that."

After several minutes of uneasy breathing, my breath finally went back to it's normal state and I was able to completely relax myself. The baby stopped kicking as hard, and I could finally talk about what had happened.

"I followed Boone and Locke to this plane that was perched up in the trees. Locke told Boone to go inside, but it was really shaky. Boone was talking to somebody, and then it fell over from the tree."

"WHAT?" He was yelling again. "LOCKE TOLD ME HE FELL OFF A CLIFF BOAR HUNTING!"

"Well, he lied."

At that moment Charlie came in, looking around at all the chaos confused. He peeked around the curtain that Jack had set up, then turned to look at me with wide eyes.

"I have to set his leg." Jack said, his face flushed with sweat.

Charlie walked back from around the corner and sat down beside me while Hurley went to go and see what he could help with. I hadn't realized I was crying until Charlie's finger wiped my cheek and I could see the tears shimmering off of it.

"Give him this, for the pain." Sun said, holding up a stick.

"I think we're _far_ past erbal remedies now."

"It's **not** a remedy."

She stuck the stick in-between his teeth and Jack pulled the curtain a little more back. Charlie suddenly seemed to realize what was going to happen before I did and he put his hands over my ears. I turned and put my face against his chest, squeezing my eyes shut tight. Even through Charlie's big hands I could hear Boone's blood curdling scream of pain. I moaned and let more tears fall from my face, burying my face further into Charlie's shirt.

"He's going to need a blood transfusion." I heard Jack say. "It would help if I knew his blood type."

I pulled away from Charlie and walked into the area, making sure I kept my eyes off of Boone's beaten and bloody body.

"AB Negative."

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Charlie." Jack ordered. "Go to the beach and ask everybody. Try to find an AB Negative blood type."

Charlie gave my hand a gentle squeeze before he ran off for the beach. AB Negative...I knew someone who had that blood type.

"I do." I said. "I have an AB Negative blood type."

"Who?"

"Me."

"No." He replied, his voice almost to the point of anger again. "You can't give blood. Not with the baby."

"Well what about Boone?" I demanded.

"We'll figure something else out."

Angrily, I walked away and sat back down on the ground, my head in my hands. Jin suddnely came running in, yelling in Korean to Sun. I listened carefully, and was shocked to hear that Claire had gone into labor. Oh lovely, so we had my brother who was dying, and Claire who was about to have her baby. Charlie came back a few minutes later as well, talking to Jack about the blood types he had found.

Then Charlie was forced to leave with Jin to go help Kate deliver Claire's baby. While Sun walked around, Jack decided to give Boone his blood. He was exhausted, as anyone could tell. His eyes were beat red, and sweat flushed his entire facial expression. Locke. Where the hell was he? The bastard. This was his fault. His and nobody else's. After some more time, Jack finally said that Boone's leg needed to be amputated. He got Michael and a few other people together to help set up a sliding door that would chop off Boone's leg.

"You can't!" I was practically pleading at this point.

Jack said nothing, putting a bandage over the spot where Sun had pulled the tube out of his arm where the blood was going through. Night was beginning to fall as Michael helped set up the sliding door. I pushed past the curtain that blocked the view from the operating room, finally taking a look at Boone's body. He was unconcious, and Jude's body flashed across him for just a moment before it looked like Boone again. Every inch of his body was covered in dried up and fresh blood, his right leg swollen up as all the blood pooled to that spot.

I tiptoed over to the spot where he lay, as if I stepped to quickly that I would disturb the dead...or the soon to be dead. I got down next to the spot where he was and sat down on the rock beside the bed. Sun saw me enter, and then she walked out slowly. We just recently learned she could speak english, it was amazing no doubt. She knew what I came in here to do. I took Boone's bloody hand in mine and held it close to my face.

"Hey Boone...it's me...Amy. Yeah, I'm talking now...I guess that's because I know that you're listening, somewhere. I wanted to say...I'm sorry. Boone do you hear me? I am so sorry. I'm sorry for all the problems I've put you through, and all the things that have happened that I got you involved in. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you for years...I'm so sorry Boone. Please...I can't let you go. I don't know how. I can't...I can't take another loss. Don't leave me."

Tears from my cheeks were falling onto his hand, making lines where the blood had been. "I still need you around...even though it really doesn't seem like it. Shannon and I both need you...and this new baby is going to need you too. How am I going to explain to him where his uncle is? Please..."

Jack was standing in the doorway, the machine all set up. He and Michael picked up Boone on the mat and brought him over to where the door was. I walked back over to where I had been sitting orginally and wrapped my arms around myself, head bowed down as tears continued to pour out of my eyes. Sawyer, who had been helping Michael set up the door, came back over to where I was sitting. I was waiting for some sort of stupid comment, but none came. I wiped the tears from my cheeks away with the heel of my hands and turned to glare at him.

"What? Come to make some sort of stupid remark? Because you know, this is the perfect time for it."

"I didn't say anything."

"Well go ahead. Kick me when I'm down." Tears were rolling down my cheeks again. "Because that would...p-perfectly suit you."

I put my face in my hands again and sobbed, wishing Charlie was here or even Shannon to help me through this. I heard Sawyer's feet on the ground and could feel him as he sat down beside me. I looked up at the sound of metal grinding against metal and clapped my hands over my ears. I felt a hand on my shoulder and then, I threw myself against Sawyer's chest. My fingers grabbed onto the thin fabric and tears pooled from my eyes. Sawyer seemed to be surprised by my sudden reaction, but he gently and awkwardly placed his hands on my shoulders. Jack came by a moment later, and I instantly let go of Sawyer's shirt.

"He doesn't want me to take off his leg. He wants to see you."

Jack followed me into the room and I sat close beside Boone. I took his hand and held it close again.

"H-Hey..." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Hi." I forced a smile.

"I-I'm n-not feeling s-so good t-today."

I half laughed, it helped stop the flow of tears for a moment or so.

"You'll be alright. You have to be."

"Amy...y-you need to be s-strong. I-I'm gonna m-miss you."

Jack came over to the side of the bed, where Boone suddenly began to gasp and pant, his fingers dropping away from mine as he grabbed at the mat beneath him.

"Tell Shannon...I..."

Silence. Boone's breath stopped coming forth, and he lay still as stone, his eyes wide open as if they were in shock of what had just happened. But I didn't cry. In fact, the tears stopped coming, and my breathing was easy. I wrapped Boone's body up in the blue tarp that he was laying on and sat beneath it. Jack stormed away from the room, and I was left alone with his body.

--

The following morning Shannon came in to say goodbye to Boone, after she had spent the entire night with Sayid. I had heard from Charlie that Claire delivered a healthy baby boy, right around the moment that Boone had died. Shannon ran her hand through Boone's hair and sobbed. It was about time that somebody buried him. Without waiting or saying a word, I picked up his body and rested his head against my chest.

I carried his body through the forest without the aid of anyone else. He was extremely heavy, even in death his weight was practically dragging me down to the ground. I continued to walk until I got to the beach, and where upon I set his body down, picked up a shovel, and began to dig his grave. No tear built up in my eye, and not a word escaped past my lips. Several people came to help me dig the grave, but I wouldn't let any of them.

This was my brother, he was mine to bury. By the time I had finished and set his body in, every inch of my body was screaming in pain. I hadn't slept or eaten in two days, but everybody had gathered around for the funeral. I climbed out of the grave and stood beside Charlie, waiting for us to begin.

"It was my fault."

Every head turned to face John Locke, standing in his blood covered shirt away from the group.

**A/N: That's it for now.**

**-Jackie-**


	18. Tears

**A/N: Hmm...didn't get as many reviews as I would've liked. But I guess that's the price I pay. People who are favouriting, please review! Thanks. Here we go.**

Locke was trying to explain, but the words really didn't meet me all the way. Jack started forward as if to attack him.

"Where were you?" He yelled. "WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH? YOU JUST LEFT HIM TO DIE, YOU LIED TO ME!"

Jack continued to scream at him before promptly collapsed on the ground from over-exhaustion. Locke stared down at him, but said nothing else. Nobody made a move to go after him, nobody said another word about it. He killed my brother, and nobody here seemed to care at all. All of a sudden, a fresh wave of anger just seemed to wash over me. I took a small step forward for a second, then charged at him at a speed I thought wasn't capable for a girl as pregnant as me to obtain. I slammed into Locke so hard that I knocked him to the ground. I raised my fist, all common sense and logic disappearing, and I punched him as hard as I possibly could directly onto his nose. I continued to raise a fist and drive it deep into his face, over and over again.

He tried to stop me, and I had a feeling he wasn't trying hard enough, but at that point, I was beyond logical reason. After what seemed like forever, I was pulled off of Locke, kicking and fighting against Charlie's tight grip. Locke sat up with blood spread all over his face. Out of the entire beat down, all I did was give him a bloody nose...maybe hopefully a black eye. After a few minutes of everything calming down, I found myself sitting at the foot of the covered grave, legs hugged up to my chest. My stomach was growling loudly, my body was burning hot from the sun, and my shirt was covered in blood. I heard footsteps in the sand and Charlie sat down beside me.

"Shouldn't you be with Shannon?" He asked quietly.

"She's going through her thing and I'm going through mine."

"What do you mean?"

"Boone loved Shannon, we're only siblings by marriage. It's difficult for both of us, but in different ways."

Charlie said nothing in reply. For once in his life, he actually was quiet. But, at this moment, I didn't really want the silence. I needed some sort of distraction, something to get my mind off of Boone. But with his blood splattered all over my shirt, it was too hard to do even that. I rested my chin on my hands, my eyes burning from staring at the grave for so long.

"Hey," Charlie nudged my shoulder gently. "How about a walk?"

"No thanks." I replied, my voice sounding cold. "You should go help out Claire."

He seemed to understand, rose to his feet, and walked away without another word. I picked up a handful of the sand that laid across his grave and watched it run through my fingers. If I had only treated him better...maybe I wouldn't feel as guilty about his death. If I had only been nicer or told him everything that had happened to me...but instead I didn't. I would have to live with this guilt the rest of my life.

"Hi."

I turned slowly to see Walt standing beside me, but did not return his greeting.

"Hey, can you help us? My Dad's been rebuilding his raft, but it still needs some work."

I glanced over my shoulder at the raft that Michael, Sawyer, and Jin were building the last bits of the raft. The raft! That would be a great way to clear my mind and help me get away from his place. I needed a spot on the raft...I had to have one.

"Walt, is there any more room left on the raft?" I asked, rising slowly to my feet.

"I don't think so. But I'll talk to my Dad about it."

"We can talk to him now." I replied, starting toward the spot where Michael stood.

But the moment I started for him, Locke approached, stopping me dead in my tracks. Walt froze beside me too, but then tugged on my pants to get my attention.

"I'll talk to my Dad and then come back to you."

He almost ran away, as though he were frightened of the storm to come. I was staring at Locke, as if I didn't know what to do. Sure enough for my early morning beatdown, I had given him a black eye and a bruised nose. Yet I was still unsatisfied by that, feeling I could've done a lot better. Bastard. It was his fault Boone was dead.

"Can I talk to you Amy?"

"That depends. What have you to say to me?"

"Well...for starters...I just wanted to say I was sorry. I never intended for anything like that to happen."

"But it did happen. He's dead Locke."

"What more can I do?" He demanded, almost sounding angry.

"You can f-"

"John." Sayid cut into the conversation. "May I have a word with you?"

Locke gave me one last look, before turning back to Sayid. He agreed, and the two of them walked off down the beach together. Locke was probably going to take him to the plane...the spot where Boone's body had tumbled to his death. No more...no more crying. I didn't have any tears left to shed in my body. All of them had been used up. I turned back to the raft and set my direction for Michael, who was taking a break under the shade. Walt was settled beside him, talking in a low voice. He must've been discussing about me getting onto the raft, because when I approached, Walt immidietely stopped talking and looked up at me. Michael half smiled and moved a few things aside on the ground next to him, as a gesture for me to sit. I grabbed the tree bark and gently lowered myself to the ground beside him

"So I'm assuming Walt's told you already?"

"About you wanting a spot on the raft. Yeah." Michael replied smoothly.

"So what do you think then?"

"There really isn't enough room..."

"Oh come on Michael. I know that Sawyer and Jin have spots already, but you can't be telling me there isn't any room for me to sit?"

"No." He answered firmly.

"Michael...I just...I need to get away from here...this island is just driving me crazy, I don't even think you understand. Do you know what it's like to lose a brother...or to lose somebody you really care about? What if something happened to Walt?"

Michael looked over at Walt, who had gotten up at the beginning of the conversation and was examining the raft, as if to look for flaws of some kind.

"Please Michael...can't you just squeeze me on somewhere? I can help out. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm completely useless. After what happened, are you really going to make me stay here?"

Michael looked at me, then back at Walt, then to his raft before he sighed heavily.

"Alright, if you can find a ew things to help me out with, then I'll squeeze you onto the raft."

"Yeah...B-" I stopped. "My brother had some supplies I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I used it now."

I shook Michael's hand before I walked away down the beach toward our tent. Shannon was pacing angrily down the beach, and Charlie was taking care of Claire's baby while she rested. There really wasn't anybody around for me to talk to, no one to comfort me, no one to really care. Of course I could go and talk to Shannon, but she's going through her own little thing and I was going through mine, just like I had mentioned earlier. She would be the one to ask Sayid to kill Locke...which is probably what they were doing out in the jungle of doom right now. This was because she and Boone used to be in love with each other.

I was never quite sure if the feeling was mutual, but I know Boone was absolutely in love with her. Not sure why, she was stuck up, stubborn, cocky, and quite bitchy at some times. But then again, men don't think like that do they? Sighing heavily, I entered the tent and began to gather pieces of the plane that Boone wouldn't need anymore, clearly. As I was putting things in a bag for Michael, I suddenly felt extremely dizzy. My head was spinning so rapidly that I could barely stand up straight. I grasped the tent pole and staggered out, my legs trembling and shaking as I tried to regain my balance. Shannon was standing not a few feet away, but she didn't seem to notice me at all. I couldn't see anything normally, everything just a blur of color and confusion.

"Hey!" I heard a voice, unrecognizable at this point.

I blacked out completely before I even hit the ground.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I don't know how long I was out, or for what reason at all. I couldn't think of any logical rason that I would have passed out like that. I felt something cold pressed against my face, and then my forehead. I opened my eyes a crack and it took awhile for my vision to adjust to Kate's face just slightly above mine. The outside was completely dark, and the only reason I could really see her face was from the fire dimly lit outside.

"Hey. How you feeling?"

"Like shit." I admitted, sitting up a bit.

Kate handed me a water bottle and I chugged it all down in a matter of seconds.

"How long was I out?"

"A couple hours. And in that time, Shannon has tried to kill Locke. She shot him, but Sayid knocked her down and the bullet just kinda grazed his head. She's pissed as all hell."

"That's Shannon. I heard somebody call out to me when I fell. Who was it?"

Kate handed me some fruit, waiting for me to sink my teeth into it before she gave me any kind of response.

"Sawyer."

I spit the fruit out so quickly that I actually choked on the other half that managed to slide down my throat. Kate pounded on my back for a moment before she continued.

"Yeah, he caught you right before you hit the ground. Weird of Sawyer...so unlike him."

I nodded in agreement and grabbed the tent pole, pulling myself up to my feet. Kate looked unsure as if I should be moving this fast, but said nothing that would stop me from going outside. Charlie was outside waiting for me.

"How about that walk now?"

I followed Charlie down the beach for quite some time, before hand dropping off the supplies I had gathered for Michael to him. Charlie just tried to keep my mind off of everything while we walked, and was doing a pretty good job of it. But when we got back, Locke was sitting outside mine and Shannon's tent, sharpening his hunting knife on the edge of his belt like one of the old barbers.

"Oy. What you dong here?" Charlie demanded, glaring angrily at Locke.

"I need to talk to you Amy."

Charlie looked at me for approval, but before I could even give it, Claire could be heard calling his name from her tent down the beach. He looked back at me for a moment before he walked down the beach to her tent. Locke stood up, and I noticed the cut mark on the side of his head. Nice work Shannon.

"What?"

"I know, you probably wanted to do what Shannon tried to do to me, but I do need you to know that I am very sorry for what happened to Boone."

"Stop it." I whispered, almost deadly. "Don't you...don't you dare say his name."

Somehow in my dried up eyes, tears began to reform. I walked away from Locke at that moment, let somebody else deal with him. I headed down the beach, trying to stop the flow of tears building up in my eyes. No more crying...I can't cry anymore. It's pathetic...it's weak. I sat down in the sand near the water and let it run over the tips of my toes. I'm sorry Boone...I'm so sorry.

"Amy?"

I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned to look at Sun, a half smile on my face.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"Are you alright?"

She sat down on the ground beside me, and, without warning, I collapsed into tears. Sun gently laid her arms around me, and I buried my face into her blouse.

"I wasn't nice to me...I wasn't nice...it's all my fault."

**A/N: That's it for now, Amy's just trying to be strong, that's why she seemed a bit out of character in this chapter. But as you can see at the end, she can't help it. **

**Peace**

**-Jackie-**


	19. Hate

**A/N: Hmm...still not getting many reviews. What's exciting is that I'm almost done with Season 1. After Season 1 is finished, then I'm going to post a new story starting with Season 2, and so on until I'm finished. Keep reading if you'd like to.**

The following morning I woke up with the most violent migrane I've ever had in my entire life. My head was pounding, as though my brain were going to smash through my skull. I pulled up the suitcase of Boone's that was shoved in the corner and dug through the many pieces of clothing. Even though I was desperate for some aspirin, I carefully pulled out every piece and folded it on my lap. When I had no luck in finding it, I put each and every one back in just as gently as I had taken it out. I was still wearing the bloody t-shirt...

Boone's blood. It was time for me to actually change it. I pulled my arms gingerly out of the sleeves (they were still sore for carrying Boone's body all the way through the jungle and then digging his grave) and folded the shirt and put it to the side. I started for my bag, paused, then reached for Boone's. I managed to get on one of his t-shirts just as the tent flap was pulled back. Shannon stepped in, looking more miserable then I could ever possibly imagined her to look. Her hair was down and greasy, curled in every side. Her clothes were ratted and dirty, and was hanging down to the sides.

"You're going with them, aren't you?" She demanded, her voice sounding weak and also angry. "On the raft?"

I shoved the rest of my things into my bag (most of them Boone's) and swung it over my shoulder.

"Yeah Shannon, I'm going."

"Why? Why are you just leaving me here all alone?"

"You're not alone. You seem to be getting along PERFECTLY with Sayid, why don't you go spend some time with him?"

"You mind your own business!" She was practically screaming.

"You're telling me to mind my own business?! I've minded my own business for your entire life, and now you suddenly give a damn whether or not I stick around? Where were you when Boone was dying, huh Shannon?"

"It's so EASY to make fun of me, isn't it?! You think that everything is so perfect and lovely for you, but you know what, you have NO IDEA what I've been through!"

"What YOU'VE been through?! Are you shitting me Shannon?!" I spun around on my heel to face her, my eyes wide and flaring. "You're sitting here on your ass having island sex with god only knows who, and you're telling me that you've been through more shit then me?!"

I didn't even realize I was yelling...or rather how loudly I was yelling, but by that point I really didn't care at all.

"I've seen my best friend shot right in front of me, I've been raped (TWICE BY THE WAY), and HELL I'm having a f-ing baby! What the hell has happened in your f-ing life that has been so tragic that it's got to be a whole lot worse then what I've dealt with?!"

I tore open the tent flap so violently I almost pulled down the entire tent. I could hear Shannon throwing things from the inside, screaming in anger. Claire was trying to get her baby to stop crying, and half the beach was standing outside their tents, watching me storm down the beach. I made it over to where the raft was and dumped my bag beside it, turning my back from the beach. Great, now my headache was at least a thousand times worse then it originally was, and it was already a bitch to start with. I looked through my bag again for some aspirin, but to no avail.

"Hey there Iron lung." Came Sawyer's hick voice.

He dropped his bags next to mine and jumped on board the raft, tightening random cords or things that just didn't look right.

"Good thing half the camp was already awake this morning, otherwise you would've woken up the entire beach."

"Piss off."

"Well, well now. That's not very polite. I think I liked it better when you w_eren't_ talking."

"Yeah, you and the entire camp. Now you can either find me some aspirin or you can piss off. It's the only thing you'll be bloody useful for."

Sawyer glared angrily at me and jumped down from the raft, coming in close. He stood just a few centimeters away from me, his face just inches away from mine.

"Excuse me? I'm the one who saved your sorry little pregnant ass while you were out in the jungle. The very _least_ you could do is so thank you, but apparently you're too god damn stuck up to even do that now ain't ya?"

Before he walked away he reached into his pocket and thrust a bottle of aspirin into my palm. I noticed Michael sitting on the ground underneath the tree, a bottle of water clutched in his hands. Must've gotten heat stroke or something. I walked over to him best I could and checked to see if I should be doing anything to help finish. He shook his head, smiled at me, and told me I should just relax for a little while. Deciding I was hungry, I headed into the jungle of demise and searched the trees for some fruit.

I heard Charlie calling my name once somewhere in the distance, but I paid him no mind. He had to help out Claire now, that was what was most important. Her and the baby. I wasn't too deep into the forest when I finally found some fruit on a tree that hadn't been picked clean. I reached up as high as I could strech and managed to grab one of the lower branches. I pulled of some kind of random fruit and then sat down on the ground, sinking my teeth deep into the skin. The baby seemed to like that, and he sent a sharp kick against my stomach wall. I rested my hand gently on top of my stomach, feeling the spot where his foot was. This baby was coming...and I still didn't have a name for it. I guess Claire didn't have one for her baby either.

Well...for a girl I had always believed Elizabeth to be quite a pretty name, so I would probably go with that if it was a girl. Although if it was a boy, I have no idea. There were so many names that just replused me, so here's hoping that I had a girl just to make it easier on myself. I finished the fruit and wiped the remaining juice on my skirt before straightening up. The moment I was ready to start back for the beach, I heard a low whispering. The words made absolutely no sense, but I instantly felt my heart drop into my stomach.

"W-Who's there?" My voice trembled despite my efforts to make it sound calm.

I spun around to my side and nearly screamed in fright. There was a man standing a few feet in front of me, not much older then me. His sandy hair hung down over his face, so that I couldn't see his eyes. His pants were torn and his plaid button up shirt had no sleeves.

"Don't do it Amy." His voice was so familar. "Don't get on that raft."

"I know you...I know who you are!" I was almost in hysterics.

The man shook his head and then darted off into the jungle, deep in the opposite direction of the beach.

"HEY! WAIT!"

I ran after him as fast as I could, feeling the cuts on the bottom of my bare feet re-opening as I stepped on god knows what. But I didn't care, I knew this man, and I wouldn't stop until I was absolutely sure it was him. It had to be him, it couldn't be anyone else. After I finally hit a clearing, he had disappeared almost into thin air. I whirled around in every direction, but there was no sign or indication of which way he had gone.

"God damn it!"

I kicked the tree next to me out of sheer anger and let out an angry hiss as it stung my foot and all my toes. But there was a sudden cracking sound that caught my attention, and I jumped back in fright. A body tumbled to the ground out of the trees and hit the ground in front of me, face first. My eyes widened in horror and I screamed despite myself. I shut my eyes tight and turned away, but the image seemed drilled inside my subconcious. The eyes had vanished, and instead the sockets had bugs crawling out of them. There were several clear bullet holes in the chest, and clothes were worn and dirty. I hadn't realized I was still screaming until I felt somebody's arms around me and trying to yell over my voice.

"Amy it's alright calm down! Bloody hell!"

I buried my face in Charlie's shirt for a moment, and then, pushed him away. I didn't need to be held, I didn't need to be sympathized. Just got frightened was all.

"Where the hell did this come from?" Charlie asked Jack, who must've also heard me screaming.

"I don't know. Take Amy back to the beach."

Charlie turned to grab my arm and make me walk with him, but I wasn't having it. What the hell was his angle anyways? What the hell did he want from me? I'm sick of all this sympathy and pity!

"Amy? What's the matter?"

I looked back at the body and grimaced. How...how does something like that end up here? Jack seemed to notice my glances and he asked the one question I was hoping he wouldn't.

"You know this guy?"

I stared down at the body again, almost in a trance. I walked back over to it and turned it over. I examined the falling bits of hair and the skeleton-like fingers with some interest. A fright was all. It had just given me a fright. I mean, how often do you expect a dead body to tumble out of the trees after you kick it?

"Amy?" Jack asked again. "Do you know him?"

I finally looked at him and nodded. It was confirmed. I would recognize the face anywhere even if it was just a skeleton.

"This is Mitchell."

"Mitchell?" Charlie inquired, coming beside me as well to have a better look.

"He's my baby's father."

Jack gave me the strangest look I think I've ever gotten in my entire life. I stood up and glared.

"He raped me alright? I'm sure you heard my little scream fest with Shannon this morning, don't pretend you didn't."

I pushed past Charlie and stormed back to the beach, trying to seek shelter in some place. But everywhere I went there were looks from every one, every person seemed to have directed their attention at me. What was so god damn fascinating about me? Why did they all need to stare at me? More importantly, why couldn't everyone just leave me the hell alone? I had reached out to Charlie of course, but even that just seemed completely stupid at this moment in time. Why would I reach out to somebody who would just abandon me once we got off this stupid island?

And that's when I realized, I hated them all. I wanted everyone to just stay the hell away from me. Sure once we got onto the raft, I would be surrounded by all men. But you know what? Once we got rescued, I could get far away from everybody.

But back to the most important matter...was that really Jude I had seen in the forest?

**A/N: Amy's repressing! She's going back to her old self! Oh noes! Please send more reviews! I would like at least 2 before I continue!**

**Peace**

**-Jackie-**


	20. A Learning Experience

**A/N: So I finally have Microsoft word, so my atrocious spelling should be fixed…hopefully. Anyways, still not getting as many reviews as I would like, but I appreciate the ones being given! But maybe once I get the second story up I'll start getting them back. This is indeed the last chapter of my season one bit, so look for the second story sometime soon. So, read and enjoy!**

The next morning came, and there was no sight of Jude or anyone else that I had been hoping to see. Jack buried Mitchell deep into the ground, and far away from Boone's grave at my request. I suppose I should've been sad that he was dead, but in a way, I didn't feel anything at all. Not unusual. I met got up and started for the raft bright and early, already prepared to leave. But half the camp was awoken by Walt, who had been frightened by the sight of a random woman that appeared. She looked lonely, her hair a mass of tangles and knots and her clothes worn and filthy.

"Danielle?" Sayid walked up to her. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to warn you." She replied, looking out at everyone. "All of you. They're coming."

"Who is?"

"The Others." She pointed to the sky, where a mass of dark smoke was rising out from the distance, almost completely covering the once blue sky. "After I had my child, they came…they came and took her. Alex. They took my baby. I heard them saying, they'll be coming for the child."

I turned to look at Claire, who clutched her baby tightly to her chest. Charlie wouldn't let that happen. It was in fact the one thing that he really did care about. I mean, if he cared about me at all like he was pretending to, why didn't he care that I was leaving on the raft? Nobody but Shannon had made a big deal about me leaving, and even Kate had tried to steal Sawyer's spot on the raft. But no, no one cared that I was leaving.

"You have three choices." Continued Danielle. "Run. Hide. Or die."

Apparently Jack didn't like those odds either, so he went to do something to take care of it with Sayid. Also along with Jack, Kate, Locke, Hurley, and Artz all took off to go and find some sort of dynamite to help blow up the hatch with. The hatch, I had just recently learned, was a hole in the ground that Locke and Boone had been excavating every single day. That's why I didn't see my brother that much…because that old git didn't want anyone to know about it. My brother would still be alive if it hadn't been for him. Finally, it was time for us to take off. Charlie had collected a bottle of notes from everybody on the beach (message in a bottle) and handed it to me.

"You're gonna take care of yourself right?" He asked. "You and the baby?"

I said nothing, but took the bottle from his hands and turned away.

"Hey Amy, what did I do?"

Everybody was giving each other hugs goodbye, Sun and Jin, and even Walt was hugging Shannon. I sighed and turned away, not expecting any hug, not wanting one either. But instead, Shannon approached me after she was finished hugging Walt and met up with me. She stared at me, her eyes lowered as she stared at her manicured toes. Then, without warning, she threw herself onto me, wrapping her arms around my back and hugging me as tightly as she could. She practically squeezed the life out of me, and I even felt some of her tears on my shoulder. I gently returned the hug and she finally pulled away from me.

"Shannon, don't worry. This will all be over soon. Be careful, ok?"

She nodded and wiped the tears from her cheeks before stepping away from the raft. Claire came soon after, holding her baby to her chest.

"I'm going to miss you a lot Amy." She said. "I really hope you'll be careful."

I nodded and rubbed the baby's fuzz head. I wrapped one arm around Claire as a way to say goodbye, before I started for the raft once again.

"Amy wait!" It was Charlie again.

I ignored him once again and pulled myself up onto the raft as carefully as I could. The people who were staying on the island helped push the raft into the water. Michael, Sawyer, Walt, and Jin all jumped on board at the last moment. The people on the island were waving and cheering for us…or not really for us, just for everybody else on the raft. Yet as the island grew smaller and smaller, and the voice's of the people could barely be heard, a sense of fear suddenly crept into my heart. What if something happened? What if this was the last time I would see anybody from that island?

Or…was I just being stupid? I mean, who the hell was going to come after us on a raft? We would surely find some sort of rescue while we were out here. God only knows how long it would take, but it would happen sooner or later. Charlie…he had done so much for me though, had helped me through some really hard moments in this month of being on the island. Maybe I should've said goodbye to him. Wait. Why? So he could just turn his back on me the minute we got rescued? I would never hear from him again of course! No point in getting all mopey and upset over something so trivial and stupid. No, I wasn't going to miss this island one bit. Everything would be just fine. We were going to get rescued, I could sue Oceanic, and then I could live a happy life with my baby somewhere along and secure.

Soon the island had disappeared behind us, and I was left on the raft with a bunch of men. I spent most of the time letting Walt feel the baby kicking around, while Jin steered the raft in the right direction. Sawyer opened up the bottle of messages and started reading them; git had no respect for people's privacy.

"Those are the notes everyone wrote." Walt pointed out, as if Sawyer didn't know what he was doing.

"Yep." Sawyer replied without looking up.

"But they're private."

"They sure are." Pause. "Who the hell is Hugo and how does he have a hundred and sixty million bucks to give to his Mom?"

I swiped the note from his hand along with the bottle and crammed it back inside. I took the bottle and stuck it behind my back.

"What you think I can't just get it back?"

I didn't reply, and he didn't try to get it back. But a glare was fused on his face as he stared me down, as though I were some sort of animal or creature that he despised. It was his own damn fault, he should know better then to read other people's private things. Although I was curious…

A sudden loud snapping noise caught my attention, as well as everyone else's. Jin started to yell in Korean as the rudder began to float away into the ocean. Acting quickly, I pulled off my shoes and 

jumped in the water after it. My legs began to drag not even a minute into the water, but there was no way in hell I was letting that rudder get away. If it sunk, we would be stuck on this raft until the current brought us back to the island. I seized hold of the rudder as it began to sink and grasped it as tightly as I could. Sawyer had jumped in as well, and was now helping me support it up.

"Sawyer! Amy!"

"It's sinking!" Sawyer yelled.

Michael looked about his raft for something he could use to pull us in, and finally found a rope. He tossed it out into the water.

"Now tie one end of that around the rudder and then we'll pull you in!" Michael instructed.

Sawyer did as told and then Michael, Jin, and Walt began to pull the rudder in. I reached for one end of it, but the rudder slipped through my fingers and sliced open my palm. I grabbed the other end of it and was finally pulled back to the raft. Sawyer climbed on first and then bent over to help me up. I smacked his hand away and pulled myself up instead. I collapsed on the deck, my heart slamming against my rib cage. That was more work and effort then I ever wanted to put into something ever again while I was pregnant. Walt put his hand on my stomach.

"The baby's ok!" He declared.

I half-smiled and rubbed his head, still trying to catch my breath. Note to self, I can't do that anymore. Next time if I was ever forced to go into the water, I probably wouldn't be able to hold myself up.

"Here" Michael handed Sawyer his shirt. "You should put that back on before you _burn_."

Sawyer hadn't noticed (of course), but Michael had put an emphasis on the word 'burn'. Sawyer must've had something that Michael didn't like. Could it be his egotistical personality? Maybe. But even Sawyer didn't deserve that kind vicious wording after he had just jumped into the water to try and save our sorry asses. I didn't see Michael going in after it. Once Jin had everything resituated, it was time for more silence. Michael took Walt up to one of the spots where everything was stored and they sat and talked about God only knows what. Jin was busy steering the boat, so I was left alone to Sawyer's taunting stare. He had been staring at me for quite some time now, and I must say, it was getting to be rather irritating. What's was so god damn special about me that he needed to stare for this damn long?

"You know Moonbeam," Sawyer began.

Here we go.

"I was talking to the Doc before we left; he says that you know who that body was." He paused here to smile almost evilly at me. "Got a few skeletons in your closet you'd like to share with the class?"

Jin turned his head slightly as though he was listening, but then raised a hand and scratched behind his ear. Ridiculous, Sun may speak English, but Jin sure as hell didn't.

"That's none of your business."

"That may be, but I think we all deserve a right to know why one of your 'skeletons' showed up on this particular island. And then there are those times when you've woken up the entire camp, crying all night long. Who the hell is this Jude person?"

My fingers clenched tightly together at my side. How dare he say Jude's name like that. Like it was some sort of item he had found on the ground and could easily be tossed a side.

"Don't you dare say his name." I hissed my voice low.

"I'm sorry, did I hit a soft spot?"

"I'm warning you Sawyer, shut up. I don't want to have to deal with this right now, especially since we're on a small raft. You have no idea what I've done in my lifetime." I lowered my voice, almost to a whisper. "Have you ever killed a man, Sawyer? Do you know what it's like, to see your best friend get shot right in front of your eyes?"

Sawyer had leaned forward to hear what I was saying, and his eyes suddenly turned back to look at me again.

"Yeah. I've killed a man before. And once I find the person I'm looking for, I can just add another one to that list. So don't start telling me about your sob story life. 'Cause guess what chica? I've already been there."

Sawyer sat back and slipped back on his shirt, which he had taken off because it was getting "too hot" on the raft, of course implying that he himself had made it that way. As the day slowly came to dusk, I found myself thinking not of Jude or Boone or Mitchell, but of Charlie. I had been so accustomed to his constant nagging and constant talking, that I think I actually missed it. I wanted him to be here on the raft with me, so that way I had somebody to talk to. Somebody who maybe didn't completely understand what I was going through, but could sympathize and show that he cared. That was it wasn't it though? He cared. I absolutely _hate_to admit it, but I truly believe that Charlie actually cares about my well being. A sudden beeping noise caught my attention. Michael ran over to his scanner thing and checked. Sure enough, there was a moving dot coming in our direction.

"The flare!" Walt reminded his Dad.

Sawyer ran into one of the bags and pulled out the flare gun. Michael swiped it from his hands.

"Woah hang on a second guys. We don't even know for sure what this thing is! I mean it could be just a bunch of junk floating in the water!"

"Are you kidding me?" Sawyer cut in. "This might be our only chance at rescue, and you're going to risk it just because you don't know what that is?"

"It's moving away!" Walt informed everyone.

"Well if it's moving, it clearly has a sense of direction. Now are you going to fire that thing or am I going to have to take it away from you?"

Michael looked from Walt, to Jin, to me, then back at Sawyer. Finally he sighed and pointed the flare gun at the sky.

"Please, God."

The flare fired and launched into the sky, bursting in a bright red flame. It took a moment or so, but whatever was there was coming back toward us. Finally there was another bright burst of light, and a small tug boat pulled up in front of us. Everybody on the raft was cheering and calling them over to us, but 

as the boat got closer, I recognized the face of the man on it. These weren't just any random boaters, these were the Others. The man in front was Tom, smiling and laughing along with the rest of the group.

"Well well, what are you all doing out here?" Tom asked, stopping his boat.

Didn't anyone else notice the gun that they had?

"We were on an island man!" Michael was still hearty and happy. "We've been stuck there for a month! Our plane crashed!"

"Sawyer!" I grabbed his arm and pulled him roughly down beside me. "Sawyer these aren't just any people. And they're certainly not going to rescue us."

"How do you know?" He hissed back.

"Because, I recognize the bearded guy. He was with them when they had me at their place."

"Yeah right." He shoved me aside.

"You don't know how glad we are to see you man!" Michael was still talking.

"Well that's good! But unfortunately…we're going to have to take the boy." Tom said.

The cheering stopped, and Sawyer's grin disappeared. He looked back at me, then his hand went behind his back.

"What? What did you say?"

"The boy, we're going to have to take him."

"What?"

"Just give us the boy."

There was a second of dawning realization, where Michael realized we were in danger, and Sawyer realized I was right. The malicious glare on his face was so frightening, even I trembled slightly.

"I'm not giving you anybody." Michael replied, pushing Walt behind him.

"Well alright then."

The lights were switched off and Sawyer ripped the gun from his pocket. He took aim but there was another loud blast and he fell backwards into the water. Jin yelled for him and dove into the water after him. One of the men from the other boat leapt onto our raft, grabbed Walt, then shoved Michael off as well. I lunged for Walt's feet and missed entirely, falling face first into the ocean. A ton of salt water thrust itself into my nose and mouth before I was able to resurface and cough it all out. Something was thrown onto the raft and it burst into a ball of flaming wood and pieces. I struggled to remain at the surface, while Jin's voice became fainter and fainter in the distance. Sawyer was god only knows where, but I was praying that he wasn't dead. For some reason, I actually gave a damn whether or not he was alright.

"SAWYER!" I called despite myself, and earned another mouthful of water.

"DAD!! DAD!!" Walt was screaming. "DAD HELP ME PLEASE!"

"WALT!" Michael yelled after him. "WALT!"

"WALTER!" I shouted as I struggled to keep my head above the surface. "WALT LISTEN TO ME! LOOK FOR JUDE! LOOK FOR JUDE!"

And in that last bit of breath, I completely sank underneath the surface, with no way to get back up to the surface. Help me….please…I'm not ready to die. I still have to have my baby, I still have to apologize to Charlie. I couldn't die without feeling his arms around me one more time, and I couldn't die without knowing the truth about Boone. But despite all this, I felt myself sinking further and further away from the surface. If Walt could find Jude, then maybe he would have a chance at surviving as well. As for me, well, it looks like I wouldn't be able to make it. I couldn't let this happen….somebody had to save me. HELP ME! I reached out as best I could with my fingers, then I slowly drifted into darkness.

**A/N: Well, this was the last chapter. So just wait for a little while and I'll have the second story posted soon. It'll be called, "Toying with Fate P2", so just keep your eyes peeled and I'll have the story up soon enough. Thanks to all those who continued to review even though I didn't update for like two months! I love you all!**

**Peace,**

**-Jackie-**


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